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sashabanshee · Apr 23, 2008, 10:34 AM

My husband had an affair and now the girl might be pregnant. If she is pregnant, there is a 50/50% chance that it is my husband's because it might be her current boyfriends also. My husband and I are trying to work things out, he said this was the biggest mistake and he regrets it because they are very good friends and they took to too far. Her current boyfriend (if she is pregnant) wants to acknowledge the child and they want to raise the child together and we would eventually get a test to find out but the results won't matter. My husband says he will do this for me and our family (we have one child together) but he will still be part of the child's life (the godfather) and I am OK with that. Is this wrong and are we doomed for our future. I am having a very hard time getting over this because it is so new and it is not confirmed if she is pregnant or not.

plonak · Apr 23, 2008, 10:44 AM

If your husband is not the biological father he still wants to be in its life? That doesn't sound like a good idea.. If they spent a lot of time together and took it too far accidentally.. what's to stop them again in the future.. If he isn't the father.. I suggest that he stops all contact completely.. but that's my opinion..

you_know · Apr 23, 2008, 10:47 AM

Well there are two sides to this. I am going to tell you a secret. I am 17 right now and I know that you might not want to take advice from a younger girl than you but this is a subject that I know a lot about. I was 15 when I fooled around with a 35 year old married man. He had a kid ( a baby). I am not going to lie to you. The first time we did it and we got caught, he told his wife he was done with me and it was the biggest mistake of his life. He said he loved her and he didn't want to ruin there marriage or life. A couple weeks passed and he called me from a blocked number. He said and I quote " Things has calmed down around here and my wife trust's me, wann go again." I am not saying that your husband won't be faithful again and doesn't love you, however I am saying that the chance for him doing it again is very large. You shouldn't forgive him. Women don't need to let their husbands walk all over them. You know he is just saying that because he was caught. Your relationship is definitley doomed.

Now on the other hand if you do want to trust him and you feel that your relationship can handle what you are going through right now then give him a chance. Keep him on a tight leash have someone watch him. I am serious if your not to careful he will try and do it again.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Apr 23, 2008, 11:01 AM

Men can control themselves.

Just because they are close friends doesn't mean jack sh*t. Why didn't he just marry her then if they were that close?

This is a tough situation because a part of me tells you to run and the other part says stay with him for the sake of the child ever having a decent life.

Do what you feel is necessary for you and the child.

you_know · Apr 23, 2008, 11:05 AM

Don't freakin this my opinion, damn. I have the right to say things that I say. I don't need you to say anything about my opinion. This isn't about me we are helping the married woman.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Apr 23, 2008, 11:13 AM

Are you referring to my post dear?

If so I wasn't stating my opinion about your post but the OP's.

I answered the OP's question and didn't interfere with your opinion.

you_know · Apr 23, 2008, 11:15 AM

Yes I am. I felt that you were putting it down sorry that I am jumping to conclusions.

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Apr 23, 2008, 11:19 AM

No, not at all! :)

The OP asked for advice and I gave her mine. My post wasn't directed to you at all, though I did read your and I must say that is very sad.

you_know · Apr 23, 2008, 01:44 PM

Yea I know it was a sad point in my life. Not saying that I regreted being with him cause I had a lot of fun and it was special. It was a bad point in my life because his wife was my friend and I know what I did was wrong but I know that what we had you couldn't buy in a store...

Sorry for being so mean, I am very emotional today (and I have no clue why)

bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE · Apr 23, 2008, 01:51 PM

Us girls... we are always emotional. It's just who we are :)

On another note. You said that you enjoyed being with this man, even though he was 20 years your senior, married and had a kid?

talaniman · Apr 23, 2008, 02:55 PM

Is this wrong and are we doomed for our future. I am having a very hard time getting over this because it is so new and it is not confirmed if she is pregnant or not.

I think you have to tough this out until all the facts are in. Just work on your relationship.

imawiseone · Apr 24, 2008, 04:34 AM

Originally Posted by sashabanshee

My husband had an affair and now the girl might be pregnant. If she is pregnant, there is a 50/50% chance that it is my husband's because it might be her current boyfriends also. My husband and I are trying to work things out, he said this was the biggest mistake and he regrets it because they are very good friends and they took to too far. Her current boyfriend (if she is pregnant) wants to acknowledge the child and they want to raise the child together and we would eventually get a test to find out but the results won't matter. My husband says he will do this for me and our family (we have one child together) but he will still be part of the child's life (the godfather) and I am ok with that. Is this wrong and are we doomed for our future. I am having a very hard time getting over this because it is so new and it is not confirmed if she is pregnant or not.

I sent you a private messege about your problem... maybe it will help you some. Feel free to write me back as much as you need.

Sincerely,
imawiseone

you_know · Apr 25, 2008, 10:35 AM

Originally Posted by bEaUtIfUlbRuNeTtE

Us girls...we are always emotional. It's just who we are :)

On another note. You said that you enjoyed being with this man, even though he was 20 years your senior, married and had a kid?

Yes I did. Every day was a magical day. I loved being in his arms even though we had to sneak. My parents went wild when they found out, and I had to go to a therapist. I promised that I wouldn't ever be with or around him again, but its hard. I mean he hasn't forced anything and we haven't had sex or anything. It was just an older version of a best friend!