I NEED my husband

Dennis777 · Oct 4, 2007, 09:20 PM

Hello.

Many Men have been taught that showing your feelings is wrong and any Man that does is weak. I'm sure he has feelings and in fact it hurts him as much or more not being able to show you how he feels then it does you thinking he doesn't care. He can change but its hard and will take time. Start out small and let him build to showing his real feelings. Don't tell him that he can't show you feelings, talk to him about how nice it would be to know how he feels. Keep it positive and little by little I'm sure he will change for the better. Just remember like with any changes when a person is pushed they will fight back so take it slow.

Denis777

donf · Oct 5, 2007, 07:45 AM

Please allow me to echo Dennis' statements.

For me it took a long time to understand that sometimes my lady just wanted to be held, not spirited off to the bedroom.

Men operate in their own little world getting inside our protective shell is difficult but worth it.

I know it sounds trite, but don't give up on the guy because it is real important for him to realize that sharing emotions is critical in a marriage. My advice, keep after him. When he confronts you, explain to him just how important it is to you and why and what you would like from him.

Marily · Oct 5, 2007, 09:53 AM

Was he like this before you got married ? Maybe you two could benefit from counselling

jasmine21 · Oct 9, 2007, 08:04 PM

I am lonely. I have been married to my husband for less than two years, (but we have been together for much longer) and we never really talk, at least not about anything really significant most importantly about our feelings, although I try it just seems pointless with him. I feel like it's getting to the point where we are more-less room-mates (and parents), but the true companionship is definitely lacking. What to do? Can anyone else relate, especially considering we are still so young, mid- twenties. Please help!

Homegirl 50 · Oct 9, 2007, 08:13 PM

Have you concidered marriage counseling?
Do you go out, just the two of you? How old is the baby?

jasmine21 · Oct 9, 2007, 08:17 PM

Our son is 3 years old, and we really don't do much as far as going out together just the two of us.

jasmine21 · Oct 9, 2007, 08:20 PM

And as far as marriage counseling, lol... My husband can not even barely share his feelings and emotions with me let alone a marriage counselor, ...( I've sugggested it with no luck)

Homegirl 50 · Oct 10, 2007, 07:20 AM

Sounds like your relationship has gotten into a rut. Was it like this when you got married?

donf · Oct 10, 2007, 08:37 AM

Jasmine,

A word of warning, guys have to be taught about stuff like "feelings". I've been married 42 years and I understand that I have them, but exactly what they are and how to talk about them, my lady is still schooling me.

Basically, guys are easy to figure out. Start with the concept of a flat EEG, yes no brain activity at all and go from there.

Guys live in their own world. They have a lot on their mind all of the time. What that causes for us is my wife will say something to me. I have to stop thinking and realize that I've been spoken to. Then I usually ask my lady what she said. Bon thinks, he's not listening to me again. Not true, I was just someplace else.

One other thing to consider. To me wife comes first, second home. The most comfortable place for me is home with Bon. I also consider any place I'm with my wife to be home.

What you are believing to be a disconnect, may actually be exactly what he wants. You, the child and peace and quiet.

I NEED my husband

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