In my experience, most people do not admit to anything until the relationship is over. My ex swore up and sown he would never cheat, blah blah blah, and six months after we split up he slipped and mentioned seeing a girl during a certain time frame. That time frame happened to be when we were going to marriage counseling and he was begging me to stay and work things out. Then he found out I was getting remarried, and he decided to dump all the affairs he'd had during our marriage in my lap. A wedding gift I suppose. He was a total a$$hole. I think if you have a gut feeling, you shouldn't ignore it. I don't suggest spying on him. If you have to do that, then there is no trust and the relationship is over if you don't get counseling. I suggest asking him to go to a counselor with you. Tell him you don't feel like you can trust him, and you feel you like a second class citizen always having to prove yourself to him. Tell him you need a partner, not a parole officer. If he doesn't agree to work on it, go to counseling alone if you want to save your marriage. If you decide you're fed up, leave him. (Yes, it is a big scary step, but if you are miserable now, and he is unwilling to make changes, things will only get worse.) Just don't let this guy isolate you from your friends and family. Keep other ties in your life.
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