How to get my marriage back? Me and my husband have been togerther for 17yrs.

Her husband came into the house and said sorry because he was out with his mistress and the mistress sent her a text saying "Bith, leave him alone". She called him after she receive the text and his mistress was laughing in the background while she was talking to him.

I know peoole cheat but this guy had an ongoing affair and is still having one. He wants to have his cake and ice cream with sprinkles on top.

If he cared about his marriage with kids he would have stopped along time ago but didn't.

Ok. I thought that the affair had gone on only for a short time; was thinking that the intensity may have faded, with him coming back to reality with the OP's comment about him 'being sorry'.

No he's with her now. We still live toegther,I'm leaving cause the house is his when his mom passes. And no he's not coming around he what's to be with this woman. They will see it won't last its been 2 months and there already trying to move in together. She was with her husband for 23yrs. Now she's all about mine and him the same. I give it 6 months, but I'll be fine me and my kids. He's not even thinking about anything but her. The grass is sometimes rooten onthe other side. My grass will be nice and green!

Hey just to let you know I'm not at the house anymore. Staying with my sister. Monday got real bad, we got in a fight. He went to jail and can't go to the house until 27. Tuesday I filed fot because. And child support. So here I go have to keep moving forward. I let you know what going on.

Wow, I am glad you left and at a safe place but sorry things got ungly. He must have did something really bad to get arrested.

Stay strong and keep us posted.

Hey just to let you know what's going on. I'm still at my sisters friday he started sending me texts telling me he missed talking to me. Then sat he called first thing in the morning and asked to see me. I told him I had plans and when I was done I would call. So around 6 that evening we meet at the park, he saw the kids and we talked for along time. Then he came back over later around 9. We talked more he told me he misses he me and knows he still loves me. He said we should take it one day at a time. He is still seeing the other woman, I don't know what to do I still love him. I think me leaveing messed with his head. I don't think he thought I would. So now I'm trying to get my head clear so I can see what's up.

I think at this point in time, when he has changed nothing in his life, you have no reason to trust him.

He is still talking out of both sides of his mouth, and you are in the middle, still hanging on hope.

Don't be fooled by familiarity, kind words, words of love and feelings. It is all meaningless, because they are not sincere. While he thinks he may love you in his own way, I would think that it may have something to do with that he loves you because you are a good mother, or he loves you because you are kind and considerate. He likely loves you as a sister more than a wife.

What he is choosing to do, and what he is saying is not love between a married couple.

Don't be fooled into thinking that he is changed. I don't think he ever will, and even if he does decide you are the one he wants, can you ever get past the fact that he destroyed your trust in him? Can he ever be the man you thought he once was?

I don't know there is so much going threw my head. I do love him very much,I miss him. There's just something there I can't put my finger on it. I was doing ok I think sometimes I wish he would not have text me. This is really hard!

I don't doubt that you do love him. He is the father of your children, and you have had a very long, and likely for the most part, very good marriage.

There was probably far more good than bad, and as you said, you worked through the bad times, and all of that combined makes two committed people stronger together. Where most marriages fail now, to say you have loved someone for 17 years is an accomplishment in itself.

I think there eventually comes a time where we realize that no matter how much we love somebody, they become different people. They mature differently, or develop other incompatable interests, friends, activites etc., and before you know it, you are living two different lives under the same roof. Familiarity and hope for change keeps you there, and the family intact. It feels like the right thing to do, to weather any storm that comes your way.

But, sometimes it just comes to pass where love is not enough. You may love him until the day you die, but love is not enough to solve the problems you are facing now.

It reminds me of a friend of mine who said she loves her husband to death- when he's sober.

But for the fact that your husband has chosen a new life, or lifestyle for himself, and is not willing to see the benefit in changing back to where he was faithful and trustworthy, is clearly a sign that your needs will no longer met. He is not the person he was, and it doesn't sound like he ever will be again.

Love is what it is. You may just have to leave that behind and move on.

I know sometimes love just isn't enough. I was fine friday then he text, and all that went out the door . And when I see him its hard he has a hard time too. I'm still going to go ahead with my plans to get my own place. I think I need to stop letting him talk to me like he has. If he wants this he needs to work to show me. Actions or louder than words.