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wantittoworkout · Oct 6, 2007, 02:57 PM

I started a new job as a personal carer as I want to be a nurse. My husband wasn't comfortable with this as I have been a stay at home mum for the last 10 years.my first client happens to be a young male(34) my age who is in a wheel chair with brain damage from a car accident but still very aware of what's going on. My hubby asked me for full details of the job but I didn't give them straight up as I knew he wouldn't like it. Now he feels as though he can't trust me as he kept asking and I kept hiding things. We are now living apart as he can't trust me to be open and honest with him and my job doesn't sit well with him. What can I do to get him to trust me again and to be at piece with my job- or at least be able to deal with it enough to come back home. I only kept things from him to save his feelings but in doing so I've made it worse.

nauticalstar420 · Oct 6, 2007, 03:23 PM

I would be completely open and honest about everything. It seems silly that you should have to hide things regarding your job, he should be able to handle the fact that you work.

Tell him everything that has been going on (within reason, don't give out a patients personal information or anything like that) and tell him that the lack of information that you gave him was just simply to spare his feelings. Let him visit you at work one day, that way he can see its just a job, and you can be trusted.

If he can't deal with the fact that you work, and can't trust you at work, you may want to consider counseling (if he is willing) so he can better understand where you are coming from.

JoeCanada76 · Oct 6, 2007, 03:25 PM

What exactly does he not feel comfortable with?

This job is important to you and your this person care taker, right?

I think if it is nursing and taking care of this person, there is not any reason why your husband should have a problem with it. Sounds like he is paranoid and afraid of losing control of having you outside of the house.

You have every right to be out in the work force and doing your job. Please give us more details of your job and what exactly is your husbands problem?

JoeCanada76 · Oct 6, 2007, 03:27 PM

I honestly feel that the reason why your hiding things from your husband is because of the way his reactions has been and you know that he does not trust you to be out in the workforce instead of at home.

J_9 · Oct 6, 2007, 03:38 PM

First of all any info you give out about the patient could cost you your job. There are laws here in the US (I don't know about where you are from) that prohibit us in the medical field to discuss anything about a patient. I mean NOTHING.

I know I would love to come home and talk about my day at the hospital and the neat new things I have learned, but I am not allowed to. It's against the law here.

I am wondering if your husband is feeling threatened that you are getting a life outside of the home and he is afraid that you will have the ability to leave him. I know I go through that from time to time with my husband.