We have lost all the physical and emotional intimacy in my marriage. My husband has low testosterone and is being treated for this. But he still has no interest in me. I know he is not having an affair. He has distanced himself from me emotionally and physically. We are going to sex therapy in two weeks. But this will take awhile. what steps can I take now to regain the intimacy?

charlotte234s

I would suggest just talking together, go out and have dinner together, spend time together, it doesn't have to be sex to be intimate. Tell him you understand his problems with physical intimacy but you can still be close while he works through his problems. Find things you have in common and share them with each other. My boyfriend loves cars so I help him work on things, and I love animals so he takes me to the park to see the ducks. Even if you don't have sex you can share lots of things together. Talking to him about how you feel and spending time together doing other things is the first step.

donf

Sylvan,

If you just define intimacy as sex, you are missing the other half. To me intimacy is sharing your life with your spouse. It's being able to talk to your spouse at a heart to heart state. Sex is definitely intimacy. Just not all of it.

If your husband is having health problems, he might be feeling embarrassment and guilty for being, what he perceives as inadequate.

My suggestion would be to sit in a hot tub, if you have one, share a glass or two of wine and talk about anything but sex. Coddle the guy, he needs it but doesn't know how to ask for comfort. We are guys, we don't even know when or next meal is!

sylvan_1998

No...I do not define intimacy as sex. And for years, we had intimacy and very little sex. Now there is no sex and no intimacy.

We work together and talk all the time. We are very much two peas in a pod. Its just lacking the intimacy we used to have. I guess I am not making a very good point of my question. I feel he is distant.

erlobenauer

Im with you, but Im the one that is distant, and yet I feel like he is as well and just not saying anything. I wrote him about how I was feeling and I asked if he felt that way too and he said no.

My husband and I get along great, we dont fight and argue, but something is just definitely missing. Keep your chin up, if I figure something out that works, LOL I will be sure to share with you. Look for my emails, I'll try to write soon

Erica

Dennis777

Hello.

Most relationships go through this, Its not you and its not him its the fact you both are so busy with the world around you, you forgot about yourself and each other.

Start slow doing all the little things that made your relationship fun and exciting. (hint) Men view intimacy as being sexual and if he is having medical problems he doesn't feel like he is the Man he was before. Show him you can be sexual and make each other happy even if he can't do what he did before or for as long. Once he feels like a man you will have him back...

Dennis777