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My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years. We started dating when I was in the
10th grade. We had to split up for a little while because my parents hated him. But we always seemed to find each other again so the first two years of our relationship was an on again off again relationship. After I turned 18 we started dating steady again. And my parents grew to like him. We had a little girl in 2005, and decided to move in together. We lived together for a little while, and then he got custody of his daughter (who then was 5, now she is almost 8). I wanted to marry him then, but he always said that we didn't have the money, and he wanted to make sure he could take care of all of us. I told him that it was a little to late to make sure he could take care of all of us. he should of thought about that BEFORE he had kids. (RIGHT!?) Anyways, about a year later my aunt gave me a whole bunch of stuff for my wedding from her job, when ever I get married. And he went and told my mom that I was pressering him into marriage, and that he wasn't ready. And now in Feb. of 2008, we had a baby boy. Now that my family is complete with 2 girls and 1 boy. I want to get married. he has asked me in the past, but it always sounded like a joke. Because he would just say " Okay, you want to get married? Let's go." And he knows that I am a traditional girl, you know with a proposal, and a wedding. I don't want a big one, just a small one. But I can't get any!! Help, what can I do? I know he loves me and we will be together for the rest of our lives. But I want more than just a boyfriend/girlfriend title. I don't want to introduce our family as " This is my BOYFRIEND, HIS daughter, and OUR 2 kids." I want to introduce our family as "This is my HUSBAND and OUR 3 kids." Somebody help me, please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You say you are a traditional girl but evidently after kids with him
your 'putting the cart before the horse' he doesn't see you as traditional
Traditional would be proposal, wedding, babies.
The concept of marriage is probably as essential to him as knowing the price of rice in China.
It never surprises me to see somone who decides just to live together, have kids without being married and then in a few years wonder why the other person does not want to, (NO NEED) they have everything just the way they want without it,
And someone stole my buying the cow story but it is so true but people will not beleive it.
So it may be that you tell him you want to, and see where the converstatoin goes. ** I do them on Saturdays, got one planed for an amusement park this weekend
You may THINK you are a traditional girl, but having children and not being married is NOT being traditional one iota. Think about it for a second. You have not lead a traditional life and he did say let's get married. What do you want from this guy? He wants to make it legal and you want this and want that. Sounds to me like nothing this guy does seems to matter as it's all you, you, you, and not him, him and the kids. Sorry. You need to do some serious rethinking here dearie.
I feel your pain. We don't have any kids, but yet we've been living like a married couple for years and I don't understand why he won't just do it, especially since we've talked about it and he knows that it's important to me and I want it.
I know you say you're a traditional girl, but it's 2008. What about if all of a sudden we popped the question on them? What if? We want it, so who says we have to wait around until the time is right for them? How about buying them an engagement ring? How would they like to wear that thing for a year or two before we actually get married, and us wear nothing .. . everyone knowing they're taken just from a glance????? I think it puts a different perspective on things, don't you? I'm going to try it. I've always been a traditional girl too, but I'm done with all this waiting around until he's ready. Not to mention, nowadays guys aren't really raised the way that we're raised with our expectations. They don't court the way they used to, but yet they still have all the pressure of selecting a wife and giving her a proper proposal and wedding. Let's take things into our own hands. That's my input, I know it may not be what you want to hear, but I found your question by inserting the question "Why won't my boyfriend marry me?" and I had a new thought. Let's do it!
ya thats what I was thinking, but he's got to ask me or we will never know if cream will look good.. hehehe... it will happen sooner or later... i just wish it would be sooner.
I have a lady friend in another country who is 28, 6'4", blonde, and a real beauty. She is a virgin and never married. She is now an ex-policewoman and working in the navy. She is a traditional lady who will NOT have sex unless she is married. That's what I call a traditional girl, honey. She was brought up differently with different values by her parents.
my wife, having been a single mother at age 20, wore a beautiful spaghetti strap white gown. who gives a damn about the color of the dress? if people were honest about this, most would never wear white. she looked gorgeous.
yes, youve done things "backwards"... sure it can be done better... i also question some of your decisions. but im thinking about not throwing too many stones, as ive had my own "nontraditional" transgressions along the way. im sure im not the first to have premarital sex... my wife wasnt the first woman brave enough to raise a child alone when the father didnt step up... so if white makes you happy, let it bother those who care for gossip and finger-pointing.
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