How to deal with a disrespectful husband

This is my frustration. I did not quit my job and move with him when he got his new job in Boston on Oct. 2008, one of reason is I need some time to think my marriage problem. Divorce - I might be unable to support myself if I lose my job; Stay in my marriage - I have no safety feeling anymore. I do afraid him to tread me this way. And he is not willing to sit down and to talk for my concerns.

Tears came to my eyes after I read your messages. You are so helpful! I was so lonely. I appreciated for all of your suggestions and your encouragement.

Can you find an attorney who does speak your native language? This is complicated and you need to understand every detail. You do have options. You need to find out what they are and decide which way you want to go.

No, there is no one in my list could speak my native language. And the attorneys I talked were not patient. They said, '€œIf you both could not get divorce agreement then the court would be offering a judgment. But nobody can guarantee you if you can or how much alimony you would have'€.
And you are definitely right, I need fully understanding every detail if I need to go to a court.

I now understood that I have three options.

1 Divorce
2 Stay in my marriage/getting together
3 Stay in my marriage/separation

I don'€™t want stay in my marriage/separation, so only two options left now.

If divorce, I need some alimony from him. He did was in school for his PHD and his residence practice during 1995 to 2004;
If stay in my marriage, he needs respecting my request for protecting family bankrupt, and don'€™t tread me this way again even we could not get agreement.

But he does not want to talk whatever how to solve my concerns or how to divorce for my alimony and properties division. He wants stay in marriage/separation until I am unemployed or I get tire.
So I am sticking here, and very painful after I knew I am abandonment.
I am seeking a way that can help me getting out from here and move on forward. This is why I came here and talking. My meaning is to help me analysis why he abandonment me but does not want to divorce? Or how can I get him to face our problems.

Perhaps you could expand your list. Have you contacted the Embassy of your home country? They may have a list of attornies you could speak with.

You can't force anyone to do anything. The only person you can control is you.

You cannot force your husband to talk to you, communicate with you, love you.

You need to speak to an Attorney - I think I understand you just fine and I'm an American, not someone from your native Country.

You need to find out where you stand legally. I see you making excuses for not doing that.

You made me more confident with my English, at least in writing. Thanks so much!

I was living with a Narcissist husband who financial abused me for 22 Years (we are now separated living for 2 years already). And he has started to gambling money and to borrow money form credit cards. And he has used silent treatment to me for 1.5 year already. Please advice for how to rescue a Narcissist? I still want to save him. Help please!

If you are living separately can we assume you're getting a divorce? Why do you want to fix him then? Why not complete the divorce and seek a better life.

You cannot help someone who does not want help,and you can't make anyone who has an addiction seek help until they realise it for themselves.

If he's not talking to you and not in contact there is not much you can do,however I am curious how you came to know of his gambling and borrow money from credit cards,if your not in contact.

Aside from that,the best you can do is help yourself,get back on your feet and start anew,with new goals and aims.

He is a broken human being, but it's not your job to fix him. You've wasted 22 years of your life trying to save him from himself. Now when you're finally free, please focus on yourself and leave him behind. Maybe you could see a counselor, because you sound codependent too.

Good luck.