My husband has been lying to me about how much money he actually has. I know I was wrong, but because I don't trust him at all (past affair and other lies-too many to mention), I did snoop and found in his wallet, more money than he told me he had. I even gave him a second chance to come clean when he called me from work today, and he lied again! This is NOT the first time he's lied to me about money and other things. I have NO TRUST for him at all, but I'm a Christian and trying to put all my trust, cares and worries on God! It's hard! I don't know what to do!! IF I tell him how I know he's lying, I'd have to admit my own act of dishonesty by snooping through his wallet. Then, he'd use that and switch it all around on me without admitting HIS wrong! I would not snoop, had there not been past issues with him lying to me about numerous things! I'm so insecure with him. If he lies to me about money, had an affair already, etc. WHAT ELSE IS HE LYING TO ME ABOUT?! HELP!!

P.S. Whenever I talk to people in my church, they tell me to trust God to work on him and that separation and divorce is not an option (unless there is continual cheating or abuse). I don't know what else to do! He is a decent man who I know loves me and my kids to death and I know that he'll do anything for us, but I can't stand living with him with all of this insecurity and fear of him cheating on me again and lying to me about everything! I don't know what to believe and I feel I always have to check his phone and question everything! But I've learned that the more I question him, the more defensive and upset he gets and the more he'll lie! Please tell me something to do!

Tell him you need money for something important next time you need to ay a bill or something. If he says he doesn't have it or doesn't have enough, ask to see his wallet. If he doesn't let you, ask him why he is hiding from you. If he gives it to you and you see all the money, ask him why he is lying to you.

Hiding something from someone (an act of omission is lying) but sometimes you need to lie to get things done.

Another solution is to just tell him that you needed some money to buy something at the store, some bread or milk or something, and when you went to find some because you didn't want to bother him you found the money. Then confront him.

Dear body,

During the early years of our marriage I was a walking example of a chronic liar. Sometimes I would lie when the truth was simpler to tell.

The way my wife broke the habit was by confronting every lie. Eventually it just became harder and harder to tell lies so the truth cometh outth.

I don't know that I'd suggest searching your husband's wallet some guys get absolutely unhinged about that. It doesn't bother me because my wife will never find anything she would not expect to find. I don't have a secret life!

It's true, my boyfriend lets me go through his wallet all the time. I even have his bank pin in case I need some cash in an emergency and he has mine. It shouldn't bother him, unless he has something to hide..

You both need some counseling fast, as you both have personal issues to deal with. If you cannot find honesty and trust, this disaster will fall apart. If you can't communicate, and work this out, get help!