I am 17yrs old and I am going to get married to the most wonderful man i have ever met. He treats me well and is very mature (he is also 17, but will turn 18 in 2 months). He told my dad of my plans and he flipped! he thinks that i am doing it because my boyfriend said so. He raised me to be a very smart young lady who has enough common sense and wisdom to make a decsion for my self. When i told him this he seemed really hurt. Should i take my dad's feelings into consideration and wait to marry or go on with my life as planned?

NeedKarma

Ya you should. Your dad cares for you and wants the best for you. He has the benefit of experience - he sees things that you really can't understand at 17. Let him have a chance to explain himself then weigh his experience against what may be an infatuation. Try this: tell your boyfriend that you would like to wait just 2 years before getting married and let us know what his reaction is.

CaptainForest

I agree with NeedKarma.

Your father has been around this sort of thing and is wiser than you in this area. Listen to him and hear him out. If you and your bf are so in love, waiting a couple of more years will not be that big of a deal.

Jesushelper76

When you both turn eighteen. It is both your guys decision to eighter get married or wait to get married. Your parents can advice and try to help but some parents cause more problems then not. It becomes your decision as an adult to make decisions and learn from them. Some may be good, and some may be bad. Take your time and think everything through. I am not telling you what is right or wrong. Remember that marriage is a long term commitement and that things could be all well now, but how will both of you handle things when there is lots of stress or hard times. Those are the times you learn how both of you will deal with things together. That is a test on how the marriage will be. So give it some time, do not feel that you need to be rushed into marriage. Marriage is important, and the reason of getting married is important. Some people get married because they are pressured into it, or that the girl gets pregnant, etc....

Hope all works out for you. There maybe some people in the family that are against the marriage, but remember it has to be your final decision on what to do, and what you think is best for you.

talaniman

It is so amazing that after raising children when they get a certain age they all of a sudden think they know more than we do.Its not like Dad wants to run your life its just that he cares enough to try and make you see what exactly your getting into.He's probably seen many17 year old about to do the same thing your doing.Instead of just sweeping his advice away listen to it learn from it and talk about it realisticaly with your boyfriend.At 17 there's no hurry to rush into a big mistake so why not slow down and plan your life together.You'll probably see many obstacles ahead of time and can make a plan to deal with them.Dad wants you to be happy and not make a mess of your life at this tender young age of 17.He obviously loves you so take a little time and just listen to him.

nymphetamine

Yeah. Uh hate to tell you but your not grown up. You have not had the experience at the age of 17 to say that you are. Running off to get married at your age is a bigger mistake then you will ever know. YOu say this guy is mature. well define mature for me. Tell us what he has done that is mature. No guy or girl is that mature at 17. Especially men.

Jesushelper76

Crankiebabie,

I do not agree with you on this one. I personally was a lot more mature at 12 then some people were in there 30's. It depends on the person and individual and yes, there are some of those that grow up really fast , or even mature faster then others. At the same time it is not good to rush eighter. It is a very big commitment. Lifetime commitment but a lot of people now adays with the first sign of trouble run the opposite way and divorce. Which is not the right thing to do.

Joe

nymphetamine

I certainly agree with you on that. Yes I had forgotten that maturity also comes with experience. Im 29 but I have yet to experience alot of things other 29 year olds have because of how i grew up. Life is still very new to me. There are probably 17 year olds out there who have done and seen things I have not. I just want to amichelle to tell us her definition of mature so we can point her in the right direction.

PrettyLady

Amichelle_656, I think you should take your father's feelings into consideration and not get married at such a young age. I know your in love with your boyfriend and things seems great now, but it will change later. You still have a lot of growing up to do, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Most teenagers are not ready to take on the responsibilities and perseverance of marriage. You won't understand the difficult demands of married life, the sacrifices, compromises and hard work it takes to live with someone for the rest of your life. It's best that you go to school and focus on your studies and have a career. If your boyfriend loves you, he will support your decision to wait. Then you and your boyfriend can think of marriage in a few years once your financially and emotionally stable.

Fr_Chuck

While we are young we don't realise that we will change so much over the next years, plus it is hard to know what reality in the working and living world is really about.

That does not mean you don't care for each other. But often we rush into things when there is no need to.

I would say merley wait, get out of school, find jobs ( perhaps consider college or tech schools.) make the base for a better life. then if you are really inlove, you still will be.