At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them
answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in
answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you
will be able to:
Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+
topics.
A male co-worker that I do not know gave my wife a scarf as a gift to show his appreciation for all that she has done in supporting his program. My wife does not work directly with the co-worker but is in a support type position that schedules meetings and business trips to name just a couple of her duties. This guy was in England and bought the scarf while there. I have a problem with this and told my wife that the gift was inappropriate. I have nothing against giving gifts of appreciation to co-workers, but a personal item such as a scarf is a bit much in my opinion. I would like to know if anyone thinks (like my wife) that I am over reacting. If I knew the guy it would be different. If the gift had been some inexpensive trinket or something that the two of us could both enjoy, I would be okay with it. What say ye?
Actually, I think the gift is utterly appropriate. He wanted to show his appreciation with something personal but not intimate. Something that would remind her of the work she did for him and of his acknowledgment. I would be delighted if someone gave me a lovely scarf.
Your concern about the 'gift giver' is actually revealing something about yourself.
All have been logical responses to my question and supports the concept of trust, confidence, and security in a relationship. I have absolutely no doubt about my wife’s sincerity or the excellent strength of our marriage. My concern is aimed toward the gift giver. His intention and purpose are at least worth warranting suspicion. I got what I was looking for from your comments. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction. However, I will watch for additional signs of this strange man (to me) intruding in our marriage via gifts and other tactics.
Bottom line ,you trust your wife and you need to trust that she will do the right thing.If she thought it was inappropriate ,she would have dealt with it.
If you trust her ,you must trust her to defend the honor of your love.
Trusting her means trusting her judgment and ability to defend herself .
i actually view scarfs as a very unpersonal (or is it inpersonal? i've been studying too long today. my brain is fried.) gift. i knit them for people as gifts when i can't think of anything else to give or get them. and i've received quite a few from people i wasn't close to. in fact, some of the nicest ones i have came from people i wasn't closest to. but when i wear them i'm thinking more about how it looks with my sweater and how cold i am that i need to wear a scarf! lol
and if she's been supporting his work, it seems like it would make sense for him to think of her during a business trip.
as long as you trust her, it shouldn't matter what the gift giver's intentions are
I agree, you are over reacting, and being unreasonable here. It makes me wonder if you truly do trust your wife, or her co-workers.
I realize you wonder about the male givers' intention with your wife. I would think that if he were interested, he would be taking her along on trips, and accidentally 'forget' to book her her own room. Then he would wine and dine her, slip a few roofies in her champaign, and take advantage of her. Who knows, he could be a serial killer, into S&M, cocaine and hookers too. The guy is a pervert!!!
Seriously, get a grip here. It's only a gift. It's not black leather and a nice whip, it's a nice scarf.
If he were into your wife, he'd be doing the text thing, having late meetings, and making a ruckus in the broom closet at work.
What Color is the Scarf?
Was there any pattern prints on the Scarf?
Was there a note attached to the Scarf?
Where was it given to her?
When was it given to her?
Did other co-workers received similar Scarf?
A Scarf symbolizes closeness around her neck, an intimate area.
And a Scarf is an EASY Gift to buy without getting the actually size of a person and is an accessory to most clothing item.. His wife probably brought it and the color didn't match any of her coats OR WORST, Co-Worker's Wife received it as a Gift and so they Re-Gifted.
BTW, the Co-Worker was Cheap... a Scarf as an appreciation Gift... a Gift Card to a Restaurant would be better.
at first i had no idea where you were going with that svimager. but you made some excellent points. just because he says he picked it up on the business trip, doesn't mean he really did. all this worrying over something that could very easily be a re-gift.
HAHA!!! I am just playing around with a minor issue.
Unless, your wife has secret phone calls, emails, and text, etc, this is just an innocent situation at work.
Although, these little misTrust and Paranoia are reasons that pushes and strain a relationship... I would be a little more understanding for my wife in this situation.
Trust is one of the key to happiness in your relationships.
Linear Mode
