Hello. My fiancé and I want to know what decision is wise. Should we get married, and then have are ceremony when we can afford to? Or Should we just wait to get married and save until we can afford to have the ceremony?:confused:

I for one did what you have done.
My husband and I got married 3 years ago civilly only and had no reception nor honeymoon.
This decission needs to be made by both of you and you both have to agree, there is nothing wrong in getting married then celebrating a reception when you can afford it.

I personally believe that if you can't afford a ceremony I would be concerned with whether you should get married at this time. The main cause of marital breakdown and divorce is financial problems. Why not use this as a learning experience? Sit down together and work out a budget. See if you can both come to an agreement in regards to the budget, then stick to it. If you do this, your marriage will be far more solid than most!

I hope this helps.

Didi

Grammadidi is right about marriages breaking down over finances. You need to be sure, before you make a decision, that you and your fiancée have sat down and agreed upon, and tried to put into practice, such things as a budget. You should also discuss all other important decisions such as children, retirement plans, future goals, etc. You don't want to get 10 years down the road and find out that your partner wanted to save money so they could ditch the 'real world' and move to tahiti to become a beach bum (unless that's also what you want).

The next thing I have to say is, very few people can 'afford' to have the wedding of their dreams. I, personally, didn't want to have to deal with all of the hassle of the arrangements and both my parents and my husband's parents are divorced so the reception seating would be an issue, if you don't do all the right things someone may get their feelings hurt and it just becomes a big ordeal that has little to do with joining a man and woman in holy matrimony. So, one day on my lunch break, he picked me up and said lets get married. We went to the justice of the peace and got married right then and there. 12 years of marriage and I don't have a single regret.

My best friends did something similar last year. She and her boyfriend went on 'vacation' to Hawaii and when they got back announced that they got married. Two month later their parents threw them a party and it was great.

The main thing to remember is that you both agree on what you want. If you one wants a small family gathering and the other wants an over-the-top extravaganza, you've got stuff to work out. There are many options and there is no wrong choice. It's your marriage, no one else's and you know what feels right to you.

Thank you all for your suggestions and opinions. My fiancé and I sat down and talked about the important decisions and sacrifices we would have to make in our future as husband and wife.

All good answers above.

I am glad that you sat down and spoke with and discussed things with each other. That is so very, very important. It doesn't prevent you from getting married, however. You can have the civil ceremony with a few closer people in attendance if you want to, and then a bigger one later, also, if you want to.

Another thing to consider is that many couples get married and then re-affirm there vows later with a ceremony to do so.

There are many possibilities as to what to do concerning having a wedding ceremony.

Ask yourself this question. If you don't end up doing the ceremony, for whatever reason, would you regret it?

My husband and I got married at the jp, planning that we would have our ceremony one year later but things did not work out as planned. I never got to wear the white gown.

Also do you think waiting might make it mean more?

Well what size and type of wedding, if you are talking about spending 50,000 on a wedding or what,

For example here I do a lot of weddings on loction, in parks, at peoples homes, we do some church weddings but most are simple but nice.
So if you get a marriage license, and can' afford fancy, you can still get a local pastor to do the service and save up perhaps to have a larger something maybe at the 10th anniversity to renew the vows.

And there is no reason to make it a civil wedding unless you don't want a pastor to marry you, every court house that I know of has lists of pastors who are glad to even come to the court house and do the service