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Home > Family & People > Marriage   »   should I just let it go?

 
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Old Aug 8, 2008, 03:58 PM
kimicub00
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should I just let it go?

my husband and I have been together for 5 years and we have a one year old baby. Well we have been married for one year. A few days ago I saw his email account open. And I didn't like what I saw. There was emails from porn sites and sites for singles. Not only that but I found a couple of emails that he sent to another woman. He had sent her pictures of himself in his boxers. Now I've never seen these pictures but I did see one of them a few months ago. When I asked him about it he claimed it was for me but of course I never got it. ( I saw it on a myspace type site). Anywho! In that email he had said that these pictures are for you if you get lonely. And he signed the email, love (his name). When the other woman she sent him pictures as well and basically wrote the same thing. He replied to her by saying that he loved the picture or her on the bed and wishes he was on the bed with her. When I confronted my husband about it he said that he does it for a ego boost. He said he likes knowing that he "still got it". I told him that I was hurt and it makes no sense. Were married ya know? Still I am bothered by it. Should I just let it go and let him do what he's doing? We are a young couple. I'm 20 & he's 28. Please help. I really don't want to lose my husband or my family!

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Old Aug 8, 2008, 04:13 PM   #2  
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He obviously has a need that you are not fulfilling.

Ask him what it is.

The only way to solve this is with communication, if it can be solved at all.

If the two of you can't discuss this in a rational way, you may need to seek the help of some type of professional.

I'm happy with my wife, I'm not boosting my ego on singles sites, I don't feel the need to.
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Old Aug 8, 2008, 04:15 PM   #3  
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first of all being a man myself, we do like to know that we "still have it". some of us just dont seek it out properly and this is one of those instances. i think your husband likes what these women have to offer , which is the idea of a mystery women online who wants to screw him ! what you need to do is step your sex game up and maybe become in a way, that woman for him ! send him some e mail pics of you half naked , or in some type of inducing pose. see if this will help any. after all you two are toghether and it cant hurt a thing. another problem is that he may be addicted to porn and the porn web sites. it is a real issue that lots of guys have and dont even realize it. tell him to try to make sex life what it needs to be with you . instead of seeking a one time masturbation off of some girl he doesnt know. and like i said you need to find out what hes thinks you lack in the sack or in just everyday life that makes you not so "pornograhically" hot ! talking is the key in any relationship. god bless
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Old Aug 8, 2008, 04:18 PM   #4  
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Its just online and just believe him that he just wants to reassure himself that "he still got it" (though he's just 28). There are just people like your husband that for some reason they need constant reassurance. The fact that he stayed with you for 5 years and married you is enough proof he's all yours.

Try to get use to it and maybe do the same things and lets see if he likes it or just ask for each other's access if you want things open.
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Old Aug 8, 2008, 04:34 PM   #5  
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Since he has A woman in particular that he is corresponding with I would really question if it is JUST ego boosting or innocent internet stuff. MANY marriages have gone bad because of internet chat rooms and so forth. BUT you can't just come out and nag and accuse. Just keep an eye out on unusual behaviors and watch what you can as far as red flags until you are sure. It isn't worth throwing 5 years away with empty false accusations.
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