I'm having doubt about getting married, but are these doubts about getting married to him enough to end an engagement with the man I believe to be my first true love?

1. I believe he has a fetish with the way I look (being black) he is white and has a porn collection which consists of only black women

2. He is 30 and I am 20. (do men really age better than women or am I doomed to be with an old prune?)

3. He wants children now, I don't want them for atleast 5 more years.

4. Am I his fiance or his child? (He pays for everything and sets all the rules)

5. Should I be worried about the fact he said he wants to mold me into the perfect woman/ wife?

6. He goes to church and pretends to be religious yet lives a sinful life with me... ( and I don't like church or religion)

Please help me make my final decision.

talaniman

Whats the hurry to tie yourself to his star?

lma2931

Hi Chrissy. The one main thing that I saw as a red flag here is the children issue. You should never bring children into the equaiton unless both people are 100 % into it. As for the rest of it, if he is you "true love" then age shouldn't matter, you agreed to marry him knowing his age, and that he likes porn, and that he pretends to be religous. I think that you already know in your heart the best thing to do, or you wouldn't be asking the question. If you are having doubts, then communicate, about all of the issues, It could end up saving your relatioship and making you both stronger partners.

liz28

I believe she already knows right from wrong and if she has all these issues already there would be many down the road, but the only question I had for her if he wasn't paying for everything would that make her decision easier?

jasmine_rezzag

For me:
1. if my man has a fetish with the way i look,I will feel happy but not worry!2
2. ten years age difference is not a big deal! i prefer my man older than me,3-10 years is perfect! I like mature men and they know well how to take care of their women!
3. you are only 20,it is too young for you to have child,can hold this after 5 years,talk with your man about this,if he really loves you,he can understand!
4. I like my man who is a little controlling,but set all rules is too horrible! he can set rules,but make sure your rules are also acceptable for him which make sure you are respectful and be loved!
5. If he wants to mold you, which means he wants to change you,he is not satisfied with some hobits or activities of you! mold you to be a perfect wife is only an excuse! what is the definition of perfect wife for him? he loves and would like to marry the perfect wife of the difinition or the real woman like you? ask him about this! do not make any changes easily for someone unless which is needed and you are happy to!if not,both of you will not be happy for the changes,troubles will come after that!