i dont think i can handle this marriage any longer...im not even sure i still love him...but that could simply be because i am angry at the moment...
my hsuband is sitting behind me cussing and yelling and ing about money....
i took his debit card away and hid it yesterday...because he once again, for the 5 time this MONTH, over drew our account.
in case some of you dont know (i posted it already once i think) ill break down our budget...
in a month
he brings home about 1000
rent is 640 something.
electric is 180
grocerys 200
ciggarettes for him when we can sometimes afford it 100 (i have quit, because we CANT afford it, but he refuses to)
phone 10$ but its in my moms bill and my mom doesnt make me pay it if i cant.
thats IT.
already we pay out more than what we have...and constantly borrow from friends, family, payday advances, and direct deposit advances....and god forbid anything unexpected happen in which we need more money for
well, right now his complaint is that HE has no EXTRA spending money...
well im sorry. NEITHER DO I.
i couldnt even afford to get our 5 year old school supplies. my mom paid for ALL of it.
so...i just gave him an ultimatum...i told him to think about it all day....and to tell me tonight after ayla goes to bed...
i told him that if he wanted all 'his money' back again (we were split up for 6 months last year and i didnt get any of 'his' money) and he wanted to spend all of 'his' money on crap, like mc donalds, monster drinks, and random candy and junk thruought the day....then to just TELL Me...and ill give him back his debit card, me and ayla will move back in with my mother, and then he can do it all by himself. and have all the extra money he wants...
then of course...being my husband he says 'oh thats nice' and stomps away....
am i being mean here? this is not the first time this has happend. we have been married 3 years. and of those three years, i have been hospitalized for suiside 6 times (i have NEVER been admited to the hosptial before i met and married him) we fight constantly...arguing over stupid things over and over and over again...
we just got food stamps...and aparently he thinks 'oh good we have food stamps now i can spend MORE money' im sorry thats just now how it works...
for those of you who dont know...my husband has mental retardation (im not saying it as an insult. he was in his mothers birth canal for way too long and was oxygen deprived for almost 8 minutes when he was born)
i am just at my wits end...
the only thing holding me back...is my daughter. her school is here...my moms house is 25-30 minutes away...granted, the food stamps are in my name, so my husband wont have those, so i suppose i can help my mom pay for her gas, by buying grocerys for her. but that wont work forever. and my duaghter LOVES this school and her teacher and already has many friends...is it selfish of me to want to take her away from all that to get away from my husband?
we are in marriage councelling...the councellor says give it time, but we havnt seen him for a week or so.
or do you think this is still savable? could a weekend (or week long) marriage retreat help? a vacation together? or even simply time APART?
any advice is greatly apreciated....thank you...
*PS* NOW, he is ing at me for having a ciggarette because of all the stress. and he also demands that i take it outside which im not going to because HE smokes in the damn house!
JWF,
You may have missed my point, which is that a local call is usually charged by phone companies as a flat rate. You pay $15 a month (or whatever rate) for as many local calls as you want. I would assume a correctional facility would have such an arrangement. So if you call outside the area--which is often the case for inmates--it would cost extra and they would make you call collect. But, as when I call home from a hospital receptionist's phone, there is no extra charge to the institution and so no reason to make it collect.
But I agree that the jail ought to be monitoring his calls better. But MAYBE they aren't. I think that you put too much faith in the perfection of an unknown jail and too little in Jennie Pepsi's simple statement of events. I do not feel that she is overdramatizing anything. I am really surprised by the lack of support here. If she says he called her, I believe her. It's not incumbent on Jennie to instantly know how that could have happened. Rules get broken, people make mistakes.
Maybe she shouldn't have let him talk, but that's another issue, one of setting boundaries and not cooperating when he violates his no contact rule. If all of us were perfect at setting limits at the right time we wouldn't have any problems to share here. We'd all be perfect.
Actually in jail it doesn't matter if the call is local. They are required to call collect. That is all correctional facilities. If they didn't do this then inmates would be on the phone all day, the phone is a priviledge. They are the only ones who have that type of arrangement. The calls are always collect - local or not and they all have to state that it's a call monitored and coming from a correctional institution.
The call would still say it was monitored and coming from a correctional facility.
I didn't say that they can't make phone calls, but the jail is not going to pick up the tab. He was just jailed one week ago and you think he went jail calling card shopping for the occassion? I don't understand what your argument is. Do you just want another side? How are you even relating this back to the situation? The problem is Jennie would have been given information that the call was from jail, she possibly/probably would have had to approve charges to accept the call. I am sure there are other options, would you like to discuss the reasonable or the unrational?
The solution may be simpler than that ladies as with any arrest, a bond can be posted, and he is out. Never heard of the police arresting any one without an arraignment at which time bond is set. He must have made bail somehow.
The call would still say it was monitored and coming from a correctional facility.
I didn't say that they can't make phone calls, but the jail is not going to pick up the tab. He was just jailed one week ago and you think he went jail calling card shopping for the occassion? I don't understand what your argument is. Do you just want another side? How are you even relating this back to the situation? The problem is Jennie would have been given information that the call was from jail, she possibly/probably would have had to approve charges to accept the call. I am sure there are other options, would you like to discuss the reasonable or the unrational?
My point was simply that prisoners may make calls that are not collect calls. You said that the call had to have been a collect call. The implication was that Jennie received a collect call and did not volunteer this information. That's possible, and she can address that if she likes, but I do not think there was any justification for suggesting that or insisting that ALL prisoner calls are ALWAYS collect. I am sure there are a dozen possible explanations for Isaac's call, not least that he was out of prison.
I think this back and forth is relevant to the recurring discussion of Jennie's truthfulness as well as accusations that she has "dramatized" her situation. I personally think these insinuations and accusations are unjustified. I am defending her. I hope my intentions are clear now.
My point was simply that prisoners may make calls that are not collect calls. You said that the call had to have been a collect call. The implication was that Jennie received a collect call and did not volunteer this information. That's possible, and she can address that if she likes, but I do not think there was any justification for suggesting that or insisting that ALL prisoner calls are ALWAYS collect. I am sure there are a dozen possible explanations for Isaac's call, not least that he was out of prison.
I think this back and forth is relevant to the recurring discussion of Jennie's truthfulness as well as accusations that she has "dramatized" her situation. I personally think these insinuations and accusations are unjustified. I am defending her. I hope my intentions are clear now.
Your intentions are clear and understood. It wasn't that I don't believe there are scenerios with which Isaac couldn't have made the phone call if he had been released, although I don't agree that one of the scenerios is that his call was placed from jail and it wasn't a collect call. I don't agree that is the way the correctional facilities are operated.
The question was simple originally, was he calling from jail? In trying to help Jennie through many difficult times, this isn't the first time the stories have shown inconsistencies. In order to help we need accurate information. His phone call was a violation of the protective order and it would also have been beneficial for Jennie to end the call immediately without giving Isaac an opportunity to apologize. The original question was should she accept an apology, in the end that is the wrong thing to focus on. Accepting/Denying an apology isn't going to change what Jennie has gone through, it isn't going to lessen his charges and it is reasonable to assume that Isaac feels some remorse for his behavior, that doesn't mean a reconciliation is in order.
In this thread NM did a very good job pointing out why we're all a bit weary about this situation.
The fact is that there are a lot of inconsistencies, there have been from the beginning.
The other fact is that when questioned about the inconsistencies, Jennie doesn't have an answer to the questions.
Thankfully I've never had to deal with an arrest, or receiving a call from jail or making a call from jail. Here's where I'm having a problem. I've looked into this and yes, all calls from jails are supposed to be collect calls. This is done for the reasons Justy stated and to allow the person receiving the call to either accept or decline. Isaac, if still in jail, should not have been allowed to make this call because of the restraining order against him. Things just aren't adding up.
If he did make the call, from jail, out of jail, then he is violating the order of protection Jennie has on him. The very least that should be done is notifying the police of this call. Also, as soon as Jennie realized who was calling, she should have hung up, called the cops, told them what happened.
Either the police in Jennie's town are extremely incompetent or we're not getting the truth.
I'm sure that something happened, I'm not trying to imply that Jennie lied to us, but we're not getting the whole story, that I'm certain of.
and since they don't have any money, it has to be collect.
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