i dont think i can handle this marriage any longer...im not even sure i still love him...but that could simply be because i am angry at the moment...
my hsuband is sitting behind me cussing and yelling and ing about money....
i took his debit card away and hid it yesterday...because he once again, for the 5 time this MONTH, over drew our account.
in case some of you dont know (i posted it already once i think) ill break down our budget...
in a month
he brings home about 1000
rent is 640 something.
electric is 180
grocerys 200
ciggarettes for him when we can sometimes afford it 100 (i have quit, because we CANT afford it, but he refuses to)
phone 10$ but its in my moms bill and my mom doesnt make me pay it if i cant.
thats IT.
already we pay out more than what we have...and constantly borrow from friends, family, payday advances, and direct deposit advances....and god forbid anything unexpected happen in which we need more money for
well, right now his complaint is that HE has no EXTRA spending money...
well im sorry. NEITHER DO I.
i couldnt even afford to get our 5 year old school supplies. my mom paid for ALL of it.
so...i just gave him an ultimatum...i told him to think about it all day....and to tell me tonight after ayla goes to bed...
i told him that if he wanted all 'his money' back again (we were split up for 6 months last year and i didnt get any of 'his' money) and he wanted to spend all of 'his' money on crap, like mc donalds, monster drinks, and random candy and junk thruought the day....then to just TELL Me...and ill give him back his debit card, me and ayla will move back in with my mother, and then he can do it all by himself. and have all the extra money he wants...
then of course...being my husband he says 'oh thats nice' and stomps away....
am i being mean here? this is not the first time this has happend. we have been married 3 years. and of those three years, i have been hospitalized for suiside 6 times (i have NEVER been admited to the hosptial before i met and married him) we fight constantly...arguing over stupid things over and over and over again...
we just got food stamps...and aparently he thinks 'oh good we have food stamps now i can spend MORE money' im sorry thats just now how it works...
for those of you who dont know...my husband has mental retardation (im not saying it as an insult. he was in his mothers birth canal for way too long and was oxygen deprived for almost 8 minutes when he was born)
i am just at my wits end...
the only thing holding me back...is my daughter. her school is here...my moms house is 25-30 minutes away...granted, the food stamps are in my name, so my husband wont have those, so i suppose i can help my mom pay for her gas, by buying grocerys for her. but that wont work forever. and my duaghter LOVES this school and her teacher and already has many friends...is it selfish of me to want to take her away from all that to get away from my husband?
we are in marriage councelling...the councellor says give it time, but we havnt seen him for a week or so.
or do you think this is still savable? could a weekend (or week long) marriage retreat help? a vacation together? or even simply time APART?
any advice is greatly apreciated....thank you...
*PS* NOW, he is ing at me for having a ciggarette because of all the stress. and he also demands that i take it outside which im not going to because HE smokes in the damn house!
does jail for 90 days actually mean 90 days in this case or is it one of those things where they're sentenced for a certain amount of time and then are able to get out early? like if someone were sentenced to 10 years but then eligible for parole after 6 years? or however that works.
i wasn't trying to imply that he hadn't broken the order. i agree 100% that he did. but if he were out then i would at least understand how he was able to place the call to her.
*sigh* im just goonna stop updating you guys. im tired of being called a liar and crap.
i dont know how or why he called me. i DID tell the police officer on my case and tell him he called me, and told him why he called me. the number showed up on my cell as 'unknown'
im sorry i dont have all the details. im sorry i dont know whats going thru his mind. im sorry i dont know EVERYTHING that is going on.
*sigh* im just goonna stop updating you guys. im tired of being called a liar and crap.
i dont know how or why he called me. i DID tell the police officer on my case and tell him he called me, and told him why he called me. the number showed up on my cell as 'unknown'
im sorry i dont have all the details. im sorry i dont know whats going thru his mind. im sorry i dont know EVERYTHING that is going on.
Jennie, the fact is that every time you update there's another inconsistency.
If he's in jail for 90 days and you have an order of protection against him then he wouldn't be allowed to call you. Also, you would have to accept the charges, even if the call came through as "unknown" which also doesn't make sense.
This isn't adding up, that's why we're questioning it.
Put yourself in our shoes, read your posts from an outside perspective, what would you think?
Jennie, I am glad you are getting on with your life. Isaac has made some bad decisions, so let him be. That means do not talk to him if he calls. Let a go-between correspond with him. Why give him a chance when you've already made up your mind? "I'm sorry" doesn't take away the fact that he HIT YOU.
Jennie, no matter how he got a hold of you, do NOT go back.
All the jails that I know (which is sad that I have this knowledge) are always collect calls. No one has a phone, they take everything away from them. If he is still in jail he could not have called you. Maybe he is out on good behavior if so, they should have informed you, so you could be prepared.
I'm sure that you saved the message, so make sure that you show it to the police. It would be a violation (I think) since you have the restraining order. They can find out what number it came from and then go from there. Maybe some one snuck in a phone and he decided to harass you.
Who Knows! But I never answer 'unknown' numbers unless it's Unky
I don't see why it would need to be a collect call if it is a local call.
If you call from a correctional facility, it has to be announced and the jail isn't going to pay for you to make calls while you are incarcerated. The only calls you can make are collect because they will not pay for inmates to sit on the phone with whomever for however long.
According to Jennie, last week, Isaac was incarcerated for 90 days for battery, now that inhibits him from making calls unless they are collect. He would not be released for 'good behavior' as at most you gain one day for everyday served. It's worth determining how/why he is able to call her. If he has posted a bail/bond, that would make the situation make sense, but on a whole the situation has holes.
Jennie, we are here to help. I have a hard time following your posts because they always are so dramatic with information that often contradicts itself. I have no doubt that your life is dramatic, but the first step to getting your life in order is to be in charge of it and know what is going on. Maybe you don't know why or how Isaac called you, but you should have hung up as soon as you determined that it was him. Stop the insanity in your own life by being in charge of it, right now all I get is that you enjoy all of the chaos of your own life. If you enjoy the chaos then there isn't much we can assist with other than listening to all of these stories.
JWF,
You may have missed my point, which is that a local call is usually charged by phone companies as a flat rate. You pay $15 a month (or whatever rate) for as many local calls as you want. I would assume a correctional facility would have such an arrangement. So if you call outside the area--which is often the case for inmates--it would cost extra and they would make you call collect. But, as when I call home from a hospital receptionist's phone, there is no extra charge to the institution and so no reason to make it collect.
But I agree that the jail ought to be monitoring his calls better. But MAYBE they aren't. I think that you put too much faith in the perfection of an unknown jail and too little in Jennie Pepsi's simple statement of events. I do not feel that she is overdramatizing anything. I am really surprised by the lack of support here. If she says he called her, I believe her. It's not incumbent on Jennie to instantly know how that could have happened. Rules get broken, people make mistakes.
Maybe she shouldn't have let him talk, but that's another issue, one of setting boundaries and not cooperating when he violates his no contact rule. If all of us were perfect at setting limits at the right time we wouldn't have any problems to share here. We'd all be perfect.
if so, they should have informed you, so you could be prepared.
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