i dont think i can handle this marriage any longer...im not even sure i still love him...but that could simply be because i am angry at the moment...
my hsuband is sitting behind me cussing and yelling and ing about money....
i took his debit card away and hid it yesterday...because he once again, for the 5 time this MONTH, over drew our account.
in case some of you dont know (i posted it already once i think) ill break down our budget...
in a month
he brings home about 1000
rent is 640 something.
electric is 180
grocerys 200
ciggarettes for him when we can sometimes afford it 100 (i have quit, because we CANT afford it, but he refuses to)
phone 10$ but its in my moms bill and my mom doesnt make me pay it if i cant.
thats IT.
already we pay out more than what we have...and constantly borrow from friends, family, payday advances, and direct deposit advances....and god forbid anything unexpected happen in which we need more money for
well, right now his complaint is that HE has no EXTRA spending money...
well im sorry. NEITHER DO I.
i couldnt even afford to get our 5 year old school supplies. my mom paid for ALL of it.
so...i just gave him an ultimatum...i told him to think about it all day....and to tell me tonight after ayla goes to bed...
i told him that if he wanted all 'his money' back again (we were split up for 6 months last year and i didnt get any of 'his' money) and he wanted to spend all of 'his' money on crap, like mc donalds, monster drinks, and random candy and junk thruought the day....then to just TELL Me...and ill give him back his debit card, me and ayla will move back in with my mother, and then he can do it all by himself. and have all the extra money he wants...
then of course...being my husband he says 'oh thats nice' and stomps away....
am i being mean here? this is not the first time this has happend. we have been married 3 years. and of those three years, i have been hospitalized for suiside 6 times (i have NEVER been admited to the hosptial before i met and married him) we fight constantly...arguing over stupid things over and over and over again...
we just got food stamps...and aparently he thinks 'oh good we have food stamps now i can spend MORE money' im sorry thats just now how it works...
for those of you who dont know...my husband has mental retardation (im not saying it as an insult. he was in his mothers birth canal for way too long and was oxygen deprived for almost 8 minutes when he was born)
i am just at my wits end...
the only thing holding me back...is my daughter. her school is here...my moms house is 25-30 minutes away...granted, the food stamps are in my name, so my husband wont have those, so i suppose i can help my mom pay for her gas, by buying grocerys for her. but that wont work forever. and my duaghter LOVES this school and her teacher and already has many friends...is it selfish of me to want to take her away from all that to get away from my husband?
we are in marriage councelling...the councellor says give it time, but we havnt seen him for a week or so.
or do you think this is still savable? could a weekend (or week long) marriage retreat help? a vacation together? or even simply time APART?
any advice is greatly apreciated....thank you...
*PS* NOW, he is ing at me for having a ciggarette because of all the stress. and he also demands that i take it outside which im not going to because HE smokes in the damn house!
I had two family members with MS and two good friends.
Things can go from bad to worse very quickly with an M.S. patient.
What struck me when you were talking about your Gram was her potassium level.
My father was misdiagnosed as having M.S. for many years (I'm guessing atleast 8 yrs) and his problem,as it turned out was severe potassium insufficiency.
I don't know how long your Gram has been diagnosed but I just thought I would throw that out there to you in case there have ever been any inconsistencies with her diagnosis.
I am a little surprised that people are questioning Jennie's story so closely. It is easy to get the sequence of events confused when things are chaotic and upsetting. Lots of people were involved over a short period of time, she moved out of her house, many things were said in the heat of anger. It is also easy to imagine the cops not locking him up if they were not specifically asked to. The prosecution of domestic violence cases varies considerably by jurisdiction. We haven't heard the cops' version of what happened or their particular constraints on that day. I am not saying the cops were right, but only that many factors go into such decisions and their failure to arrest him does not mean that Isaac did not hit Jennie or that her story is "wrong."
As for abuse, it is NORMAL for abusers to be particularly charming and to sweep partners off their feet. Abusers are not mean at first. If anything, they are especially nice. And they fall in love too. They want to win someone over and be loved. The abuse comes later, sometimes building gradually, sometimes beginning all at once--often after a committing event, such as moving in together, engagement, marriage, a baby, or the partner quitting a job and becoming a dependent, stay at home parent.
It's popular to say that partners who have been subjected to abuse were raised that way and in some fashion "go looking for it." That may be true in some cases, but I emphatically reject it as a general explanation. First of all, abusers are often really hard to spot. Nobody goes out on a second date with someone who is hostile or controlling on the first date. Often, abusers are quite popular outside the home and people may think they have a great marriage because that's the way they tell it and that's the way they act when others are around. Second, lots of women (and men) who end up with abusive partners were not abused as children or teens.
Here's what I found for the Phoenix area and domestic abuse victims.
When a police officer arrives, describe what happened. Tell the officer about any injuries such as bruises, cuts, redness, or tender areas. Also let the officer know if anyone else witnessed the incident and can support your statement. The officer will decide if there is enough evidence to make an arrest.
If arrested, the offender will be taken away and secured until appearing before a magistrate who will determine the terms and conditions of the release.
Once an offense is referred to the courts for action, you, the victim, will be kept informed of all aspects of the proceedings according to the victims' rights law. Victims of crime are encouraged to participate in the judicial process.
The penalties for an offender found guilty of domestic violence related crime vary greatly. The court may be able to order the offender into a counseling program to begin breaking the cycle of violence.
The only way that Isaac could have avoided arrest is if the police officer didn't believe Jennie's account of what happened.
i got a paper to fill out from the police in the mail (i cant go back to the apartment obviously, but the apartment is in phoenix, while my mom is in glendale. and i guess the police wont come to the other city outside of thier jurisdiction, but the glendale police cant help because it all happend in phoenix. at least thats what they told me)
its got 2 things i need to fill out. one is a statement from me stating what happend, what he did, what i did, what led to it, and what came after.
the other is an itemized list of the things he destroyed in the apartment. they told me to list EVERYTHING, just in case, because i might not know what is considered 'common property' or MY property. along with a general price range. which ill fill out, but i realy dont care about the money (except for the dress which was 300$ and it realy hurt because i was planning on saving it for aylas wedding)
i realy do apreciate all the support and help im getting from everyone. im very sorry that everthing is so unclear. im trying my best to get it all out to you guys.
*hugs*
arty, grandma has had MS for a LONG time. there is no question its not MS. from what her doctor told us (her regular Internist (i think thats the right term) , not the ER doc)
she said that potassium levels will drop slightly during an attack. and that her refusing to eat, because she felt so crappy from the fever and dehydration, made the potassium worse.
also an update on that, she ate this morning. which is awesome. she ate well. she is more coherant. and her BP, potassium, and magnesium (which was also slightly low,) and her hydration is all back up to standards.
i know i am going to catch hell for this but he works..it is 2009 is he a ceo, vice president, president of some corporate company? no sounds like a regular guy be thankful.
i know i am going to catch hell for this but he works..it is 2009 is he a ceo, vice president, president of some corporate company? no sounds like a regular guy be thankful.
i know i am going to catch hell for this but he works..it is 2009 is he a ceo, vice president, president of some corporate company? no sounds like a regular guy be thankful.
Are you posted in the wrong thread What you are saying has nothing to do with this. I'm confused.
What you are saying has nothing to do with this. I'm confused.
Linear Mode
