My wife and I have been married for 10 years and we have 2 daughters 8 and 9. Recently, she and I have talk and tidbits of information from her past come out and when I ask a more direct question about the tidbit, world war 3 erupts because now I am prying into her past and that the past should not be drudged up. Granted that she has had her share of lovers and possibly someone else’s share too, I realize that if she had been a guy no one would have thought twice about it. Quantity isn’t the bulk of the issue, as she has been tested and is clean, but the issue is how she has acted with and toward me for the last 10 years and some of the situations from her past. Sex between us early in the marriage happened about 1 to 2 times a week and recently we are experiencing a semi-annul event, not for lack of trying on my part. She has always been extremely prudish and reserved with me. It has recently come to light that in one of her often relationship in particular she was another man’s whore, literally. That said; she was with a guy that she had feelings for and hoped that he would develop similar feelings for her but never did. The extent relationship was sexual; “they would go out and party, return to his apartment, and he would have sex with her”. She said that meant he would only have sex with her if she laid face down on the bed so he could enter her from behind, not in the behind, it was uncomfortable and occasionally hurt, and when he was done sex was done. The relationship had very little intimacy such as hugs and kisses. She even said that she knew that he was treating her like whore but she stated with him anyway.

I am by no means naive or uneducated, but I just plain don’t know how to deal with this. I love my wife very much, but being blunt about it I am not sure I how to deal with being married to “another man’s whore”, granted that that happened before we got together, but it is still confusing.