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Christian girl marriage to married muslim guy
Asked Nov 16, 2008, 10:48 AM
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29 Answers Hi There.....I need help.....I need suggestions........I need advice.........I need prayers I'm a christian girl in a relationship with a muslim guy who is already married with a kid. Due to problems in his first marriage, he has been forced to go for a second marriage by his family since many years and he has declined. However ever since we have been together he has been rethinking the option of a second marriage. After a lot of explaining (since I am a christian and he a muslim) to his family he was able to convince them and get their approval to get married to me. Less than a year ago the nikkah was done and their family is so very happy and believe that we are meant to be together. Now the problems are.......he will not be able too divorce his first wife since there will be no one to take care of her and his child, but by all means and as per all islamic rules he is allowed to get married a second time. It is fair and not illegal and he has not broken any islamic rules. Nothing was hidden from me. It was initially difficult for me to accept the existance of his wife and kid but as days went by I was able to accept it. He really loves me a lot and we have a lot of dreams for a good life together with the presence of God in our lives. My family does not know about this.....they are unaware of the length and depth of our relationship. They are strictly saying no to it. I am very hurt for them bcoz they will face a lot of disgrace from the society if this happens and I pray ....I don't want them to bow their heads down for me. They have gone through so much in life. If at all they agree to this, they will not understand the concept of him getting married when he already has a wife and a kid...I.e. Without a divorce from his first wife. My family will not understand bcoz we are christians and this does not happen in christianity For the satisfaction of my family he has said that he would convert so my parents would not be disgraced, but of course his family will not know that he was converting. I have converted for his and his family's sake. So I am a muslim for them but at home I will be a christina for my family. As for the children that God will gift us, he has said that we would teach them both religions and let them decide which one to follow. Our love is sincere and we don't want anyone to be hurt. We want the blessings of everyone. At the moment there seems to be no ray of hope considering that my parents don't agree. His parents really want me to go home to them and be a part of their sons life since they believe I will bring lots of peace in his life.even though the nikkah has been done, we don't stay together. His parents are waiting for my green signal after approval from my parents so that they can publicize the marriage. At the moment everyone is mum about it for my sake. Only his immediate family members know about this now. If my parents do not agree to this, we have no option but to part. Which means both of us would be forced to get married to some other person. Can't think of that life...... Please advise....suggest......PRAY.....thank you |
29 Answers
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| Run... As fast as you can. | ||||
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| It seems either way you go, someone will not be happy, so I suggest you go the route that makes you happy, and let those others live with it. Once your married, can he get another wife, if you don't work out? If his first marriage didn't work, what makes you think you will fare better? Have you met the wife, he cannot divorce, or know what future arrangements will be made to accommodate her, and his kids? Will they live with you? There are to many questions here for me to be comfortable with, and if I were you, I would be looking at some more research, and not just take his word. Converting for convenience, or to get what you want, will bite you in the butt, and the butts of your children. | ||||
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| I really appreciate your reply and concerns....thank you....and may god bless you..... I think I need to give you a little more clarity on the issue........ I agree with you.... If I must get blessing through lies, deceit we will dishonour ourselves..............but we have a good intention behind this......I know that this is not an excuse for it, but...... About his first wife......yes I have met her and I know for sure why he is getting married a second time. Well if he intended to cheat me, then it must be him and only him who gives me promises....be it true or false promises. However, like I said his family is behind him to get married and I know he has got the best of proposals from muslim girls. I know how desperate his family is to get him married but he said no to everyone .........was not even interested to see the girls.......only because he did not want to get married to someone just for the sake of getting married. But when we met.....things were different dear....we believe that we can fulfil each others lives. His family made sure that I know everything about his past life before we got married. They insisted on telling me everything inspite of him telling them that he already told me. They wanted to be sure that nothing is hidden. His wife and kid is not going to stay with us. He is already separated from them........the only problem being that he can't just leave them.......because there will be no one to take care of them.....he has to fulfil his duty I know that you might very easily doubt how trustable this person is....but I have known and experienced the sincere, god fearing person he is and his family is.... I realise the whole thing about converting is very confusing and how long will we be able to dwell in this lies......I know I know and it hurts me to no extent but we are only hoping for a good life together......just for you info....we are not young love birds.....both of us are in our 30's and we truly understand that we are not going through the romance phase. This is mature love....a very deep love that we want us to be happy but not at the cost of any one else's happiness.... I thank you and totally agree with your concerns....I must tell you that your last statements (never make a person......./life is hard...../obstacles are what appears......) were very inspirational....I thank you for your advice and look forward to the same again after you read this....May God bless you. | ||||
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"The road to hell is paved with good intentions"" I am so sorry as your rushing head long, the wrong way, into something that should be clean, and honorable, and upfront, before your God. If its worth doing, its worth doing the right way, and if can't pass that test, don't do it. Besides what the hurry when you can give it thought, and seek counsel, and have a better plan. Quote:
What happened to them, and what sect of muslim is he? JMHO! | ||||
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| Thank you again......... Well I don't know what to say.... How could we be together.....do you have any suggestions........ | ||||
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| Known him for 3 years........the country doesn't matter.........does it... | ||||
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| Yes it does, as the rule of conduct have a very important role in what you must decide. Not only in tradition, but law. | ||||
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| Ok......We are from India | ||||
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