I have been married for 37 hard yrs. Although the last 5 have been good since he quit drinking. He has never been an affectionate person to me or our children. Our 37 anniversery. came in June which he didn't acknowledge we got into an argument at which time he informed me that none of these says (birthdays,fathers day or anniversery) mean anything to him. I was so hurt, his apology meant nothing. The next day I started checking things out. I found that last year he had different numbers. on his phone. They weren't mistakes although the time was 1 or 2 min. They were done on different days at different times. A few months later i asked him about it and i can't express to how mad he got. I have access to bank accounts credit cards there have been no unexplained charges. He is a local truck driver and the co. provides them with cells. He hid his pass word so I can't check calls. I know you will think I am mean but I do keep track of his hours. He doesn't go off buy himself we are always together but I have this gut feeling that messing around while at work. All of a sudden he is in the porn sights. He know more about the PC than my son or I do. Supposedly he just started using it. Yesterday I found that he had msn and windows mail on bookmark when I asked about he he said he didn't how they got there and got mad. I truly believe that he is cheating what do you think? Help.

Cat1864

Since he is "local" truck driver that takes some of the negative points of truckers, generalized or otherwise, out of the equation.

I agree that snooping is not the best way to gather information.

One thought that comes to my mind: Is he having any libido issues that he might be trying to hide? Many men who have problems with getting older and possible medical concerns can become defensive and secretive. When was the last time he had a full check up?

I agree with jmjoseph that counseling is probably a good way to go. Even if he won't go with you, it can be a way for you to learn techniques for discussing your concerns with him in a non-confrontational manner.

talaniman

Have either of you gone thru the change of life thing yet??

grandmalee

yes he is having libido problems. he is on meds that causes this also even vigra doesn't help. he is 61 and i am 58 and i am just now going through mid life. its good and bad