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I am married to a man who has been abusive to me in the past. He has hurt me physically several times. He has not hurt me physically in about 18 months. The verbal and emotional abuse has, however, continued. If someone hasn't hurt you/hit you in this length of time, is it safe to say that the physical abuse is over? Is it possible to then begin to forgive and work on the relationship? Not sure where to go from here- I am at a crossroads. I have an opportunity to leave and start a new life on my own with my children, and I am not sure if I should take it.
No, not at all, in fact I would say the worst is still to come, esp since the verbal has not stoped and to be honest the verbal and emotional is worst than the physcial, it can make you a slave with little free will over enough years. He is a time bomb ready to go off. The fact he still believes it is ok, to be verbal abusive, means he has no concern for you, only perhaps fear of going to jail, when it beleives he has you under enough control again, the physcial will start and most likely be worst
He can be forgiven, of course you are not in his home, since we are suppose to forgive all who have done us wrong, So in time living in your own home forgive him, but don't forget and allow yourself to be hurt again
You should have left years ago, get the new start, you owe it to the children.
Oh teachermama...... what do I say ?
It makes me so sad to read this...
you should never put up with any form of abuse.
no matter whether it is physical or not... emotional and verbal abuse ... and listen carefully... ... are equally as bad and damaging as physical .....
leave.
pack your bags and run.
run as fast as you can and don't return.
and never again allow anybody to abuse you again... not physically, not emotionally and not verbally.
I'll add a HUGE AMEN to the first three postings here. Pack and run while you have the chance.
As a Chaplain (Law Enforcement type) I have run across the end product of the kind of relationship you describe and it isn't pretty... Take the kids and run even if you have to leave everything and go to a W.E.A.V.E. Shelter grab the kids and run!!!
to me abuse is abuse, in my eyes your husband should treat you like gold (and vice versa), any kind of abuse shows real lack of respect.
he may not have hurt you in these past months but im guessing he is building up to it.
my mum ex husband was the same, he would go out everynight and sleep with many different woman, then come home and tell my mum that it was her fault because she wasnt attractive enough.all the excuses in the book, then he brought home a sexual desiese,and blamed mum for that too.
over time he got worse until he started beating her...then he stopped for months.
one night he lost it and mum ended up in hospital having stiches over both eyes after he hit her with a pan over the head and face,then beat her whilst she was still on the floor..all this was in front of me. you have children, take them away from this whilst you have a chance.he will never change, ever.
he is remarried now and everyone in town knows that he beats his new wife..you see her around with big shades on to cover the bruises. dont be any mans punchbag,you deserve so much better, good luck.
I am married to a man who has been abusive to me in the past. He has hurt me physically several times. He has not hurt me physically in about 18 months. The verbal and emotional abuse has, however, continued. If someone hasn't hurt you/hit you in this length of time, is it safe to say that the physical abuse is over? Is it possible to then begin to forgive and work on the relationship? Not sure where to go from here- I am at a crossroads. I have an opportunity to leave and start a new life on my own with my children, and I am not sure if I should take it.
If he is verbally abusing you and getting the results that he wants. then maby he has no reason to hit you 2. he may be able to controll the rage that he feels enough to stop the phyiscal attacks...How long will this last? How brtual are the attacks? 3. What happens when you get tired of the verbal abuse and respond back to him...will he fall back on the physical attacks to put you back in check? When someone shows you what they are believe them...Their actions say everything. I think he has shown you what he is and he will show you every day if you allow him to ...It is up to you! How much are you willing to take from this man? Only you can decide. Good Luck. Peace be with you
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