Boyfriend not ready to commit?

Confused21 · #1 Feb 25, 2007, 07:22 PM

I've been dating my boyfriend for 1 year and 7 months now. We have a long distance relationship but I've known since about 8 months - 1 year into the relationship that I'm really serious about our relationship. I can see our relationship lasting and us getting married. Lately I've been feeling really confused. I've been asking him to finally take the next step and move in for about 6 months now, and he just will not do it. He says he has too much going on in his life right now and doesn't want to spend the money. I'm 21 and still living at home, he's 22 and in the same situation. I just feel like he's not taking me seriously. I have obviously thought about getting married... and where the relationship is going and what I want from the relationship, but... Everytime I try to bring it up with him, he gets really mad and says he "doesn't want to talk about it." So for the last couple of nights I've kind of been forcing the subject of marriage, trying to see if he's thought about it... and all I've gotten him to say was "whenever we're really clicking I think, 'Yea, she's the one.'" ...

I've been under the impression that our relationship has gone really well over the time we've been together, but now I'm feeling like he's not taking any of it seriously. Like he just wants someone to have fun with all the time, and doesn't want to commit. I told him I'm not looking to get married tomorrow, and it's not like I've picked out my wedding dress, but it really bothers me that after this long in our relationship he hasn't even really given it thought??? what's up with that?

Is 21 and 22 too young to think about marriage? Why isn't he ready to commit to anything with me? I feel as though if he found someone he really loved he'd be ready to commit already.... maybe I'm just not the one for him?

ainos · Feb 25, 2007, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Confused21

I've been dating my boyfriend for 1 year and 7 months now. We have a long distance relationship but I've known since about 8 months - 1 year into the relationship that I'm really serious about our relationship. I can see our relationship lasting and us getting married. Lately I've been feeling really confused. I've been asking him to finally take the next step and move in for about 6 months now, and he just will not do it. He says he has too much going on in his life right now and doesn't want to spend the money. I'm 21 and still living at home, he's 22 and in the same situation. I just feel like he's not taking me seriously. I have obviously thought about getting married... and where the relationship is going and what I want from the relationship, but... Everytime I try to bring it up with him, he gets really mad and says he "doesn't want to talk about it." So for the last couple of nights I've kind of been forcing the subject of marriage, trying to see if he's thought about it... and all I've gotten him to say was "whenever we're really clicking I think, 'Yea, she's the one.'" ...

I've been under the impression that our relationship has gone really well over the time we've been together, but now I'm feeling like he's not taking any of it seriously. Like he just wants someone to have fun with all the time, and doesn't want to commit. I told him I'm not looking to get married tomorrow, and it's not like I've picked out my wedding dress, but it really bothers me that after this long in our relationship he hasn't even really given it thought??? what's up with that?

Is 21 and 22 too young to think about marriage? Why isn't he ready to commit to anything with me? I feel as though if he found someone he really loved he'd be ready to commit already.... maybe I'm just not the one for him?

hi- yes you are both way too young for marriage- maybe you are ready- but he is not and pressing this issue with him will only drive him away- trust me.
If you are both clicking then be patient and just enjoy your time together 2 years(less) is not a long enough time to start thinking about marriage unless you are in your late 30's

You will lose him if you pressure him- back off. let him come to you - enjoy him- you will soon find out if he is the one or not and thank god you still have your whole life ahead of you



At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to: Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics. Accept money for answers that you provide. Communicate privately with other members (PM). See fewer ads. Sign Up!