My wife has suddenly obtained a best friend who happens to be male. After reading through several threads about said subject it appears that I should be OK with this. I am OK with her having a male friends however I am unsure of boundaries I have seen many people bring up. I feel that some of the stuff she does with him are not appropriate.

For example I am fine when they go out to a book store, have coffee, catch lunch. However on two instances while I was out of town he has come to our house and they watched a movie together, she made him dinner and they basically spent the entire day together. Once when the kids where there, another when they were not. I am trying to be OK with this sort of activity because I feel it is wrong for me to be bothered by it, but I still feel in my gut that it is not appropriate behavior for someone who is married.

I do not know this guy and he has only surfaced within the last few months. She does things with him she has never done with any of her other friends and spends way more time then she has ever spent with any of her friends. In fact the only person she has behaved this way with before is me.

I know for a fact she is not having any type of romantic involvement with him, and I know they are just friends. However I can't help but to fear the relationship might develop into something more. It is likely my history is a major factor because I have had the same thing happen with two past girlfriends I loved dearly who left me for their new best friend.

So should there be boundaries? If so what? Am I wrong to be bothered by him coming to my house and spending the entire day with her while I am away? If so what is a good way to get past my negative emotions so that she can be with her friend and I can not feel sick to my stomach all day?

We have talked about it and fought about it. Right now we are compromising and she is only going to go to public places with him. I am fine with that. We plan on all getting together so I can meet him and get to know him. She does tell me when they are doing things and was only secretive about it before I "found out about him". There are relationship issues between also. I can go into those if need be but would prefer not if it is not necessary. I think that should cover any question someone helping might ask. Thanks in advance for everyone's time.