there is a true story!
one of my best friends would like to get married in next year! cause her bf asked her to do that! her bf said get married first but not invite any one to attend their wedding and to see if they are suitable for each other or not for the rest of life.all of us asked that girl do not marry that man,cause it seems that man surely will break up with her at any time,if he is really serious about their marriage,how could he say that?but that stupid girl can't accept our advice,cause that man is a little rich and a little good look,she thinks he deserves her to take a chance!she does not want to be together with any men who is poor,no house......i am really confused! what a stupid girl! what is love?I told her even she invites me to attend her wedding,i definitely will not go!Am i wrong?am i too bad to say that

donf

Jasmine,

There is no right or wrong here. You are taking a stand on what and how marriage should be and why you feel that way.

My wife and I used to teach and participate in the Catholic Church's RCIA process for people planning on entering the Catholic Church and the Canaan Process for pre marriage instruction.

Several times we came across couples who seemed to be planning their weddings and potential divorces at the same time. I'd get really upset with that nonsense because first of all, Divorce is not acceptable to the Catholic Church and Annulment is.

I'd ask the couple to step out side the classroom and ask if there were absolutely crazy. How could you be so much in Love that you wanted to marry each other but in the same breath you are preparing for the marriage to fail? The two plans do not go together at the same time.

I, like you would have to ask, why do you want to marry someone who does not want the world to know you married him. What is missing here. Every one has a normal expectation of a modest to large wedding, not one done in the dark, with the lamp hidden under a basket, (so to speak).

jasmine_rezzag

I just feel like I was too rude to her! feel a little guilty! I am a little upset for having such kind of friend!maybe just becuase i am an independent girl,too independent!! and she always eagers to find a rich man to pay for the rest of her life!cause she does not want to do anything for a living!her parents devoiced cause her father said he fell in love with another young woman(after devoice,her father pay nothing for his 9 children--8 daughters,only one son),and her bf's parents devoiced for the same reason!she know she cound not be happy,but she said it does not matter!
should i do something to help her,or just let it be?

N0help4u

Sometimes people have to learn the hard way. It doesn't mean you can't be supportive by going to the wedding. You can be supportive and not condone what she is doing. You made your concerns known to her now she will do as she pleases. It doesn't mean you have to shut yourself off from things like going to her wedding. If she is only looking for the rich guy she just might be happy with the long ride. Some people who aren't in a marriage for money end up divorced just as quick or quicker than people who go into it for the wrong reasons.