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I've been with my husband for 7 years. About 6 months ago he started talking to a girl on myspace and the first words she typed to him were about how sexy he was. I told him I was uncomfortable about this, not to mention she is single, lives in the same town as we do, and is better looking than me. In the past he's done some shady things, but for the most part I trust him. Then about a month ago I got into his myspace and read a bunch of conversations they had. There was a LOT of flirting going on, and he even offered to have her come in so he could change her oil (he works at jiffy lube). I don't like the idea of my man meeting another single woman period.
That's not even the most messed up part. I recently had to go take care of my mom, and based on their latest conversations he was about to ask for her number. Knowing him, I pretty much knew he would meet/call her whether I wanted him to or not so I just gave up and gave him "permission" to call and meet her. I was going to be away for 3 months, and I was depressed about my mom dying so I guess I gave up.
I came back, and yes he had been talking to her on the phone but they haven't met yet. HE constantly gives her windows into our relationship and tells her whats going on. He even mentioned slapping her on the which is very inappropriate. Yesterday she called, and he LEFT THE ROOM to go talk to her. I begged him not to since he never leaves the room to talk to anyone. He apparently didn't see any fault in his actions. I want the "friendship" to end, but he seems more concerned with her and him than with me and him. And I know for a fact that they haven't met, so I don't know to do.
This is very bad for my high blood pressure and stress levels. He acts like he doesn't care. I know that they are just friends, and nothing would happen but something just doesn't seem right to me. Am I overreacting?
PS: when we talked about the two of them meeting I asked if i was invited and he said "no" and that it woudl be too "uncomfortable" with 3 people. not to mention he claims she doesn't like me.
Are you overreacting? NO!!
If you are uncomfortable - then you make it known!! He is YOUR husband. He is acting like there is something to hide.
This situation is very fishy.
I have made it known, he just won't listen to me. I know for a fact if this was flipped around, he would divorce me in a second just because of the circumstances... I've told him I'm uncomfortable, I've cried, and begged him to just end the "friendship". But he just won't. The other day when he left the house to walk down the street with the phone to talk to her, I told him if he left I would leave him, and he kept walking. I even accused him of being more concerned with their "relationship" than ours. We celebrate 8 years in september. He's known her for 6 months. I've told him how I feel 234889074 times and he still won't listen. He thinks he isn't doing anything wrong so he's going to keep doing it. I'm going away for another 3 months to take care of my mom again and I just fear this is going to turn into an affair.
You have to trust your instincts. if it was my man, i would make it known that his behavior is childish, to discontinue that friendship and I would most likly divorce him .
You are NOT overreacting!!!!!!! Your husband is crossing the line BIG TIME and should be a lot more considerate of your feelings about this. In my opinion, the are probably a little more than friends. The thing that bothers me the most is that is okay with "hanging out" with another women that claims to "not like you" He should be taking up for you if someone says something like that about you, you are his WIFE! I'm not sure how you can get this "friendship" to end but it needs to because it is crossing the line and could potentially lead to infidelity. Get your hubby to notice you more! --->It sounds to me that you are a little self conscious....start being confident around him(even if your not). Do something special for him like making a special dinner and buying a special outfit. Pretend that the other girl is nothing to you and you just want him all to yourself. He is obviously not going to stop this rotten relationship with the myspace girl by you simply asking him so you will have to try other ways (like making yourself more irresistible). Remember though that confidence is key, even if you aren't has pretty as the other woman. Your heart is obviously more beautiful than hers! Good luck!
ps-I know how you feel!
Please don't get caught in the trap of making threats that you aren't prepared to follow through with. You told him if he left with the phone you would leave. He did it anyway and you did nothing. He knows this.
At this point - there is an affair going on - it may just be emotional, but an affair none the less.
If he is not going to be in this 100% - you need to get counceling and figure out why.
Good LUck!
Does your state have alienation of affection laws? If it does, you may be able to get her to go away by threatening to sue. However, your problem will still exist with your husband. Until you solve that issue, you may have other similar problems with the next myspace gal.
You are NOT overreacting!!!!!!! Your husband is crossing the line BIG TIME and should be a lot more considerate of your feelings about this. In my opinion, the are probably a little more than friends. The thing that bothers me the most is that is okay with "hanging out" with another women that claims to "not like you" He should be taking up for you if someone says something like that about you, you are his WIFE! I'm not sure how you can get this "friendship" to end but it needs to because it is crossing the line and could potentially lead to infidelity. Get your hubby to notice you more! --->It sounds to me that you are a little self conscious....start being confident around him(even if your not). Do something special for him like making a special dinner and buying a special outfit. Pretend that the other girl is nothing to you and you just want him all to yourself. He is obviously not going to stop this rotten relationship with the myspace girl by you simply asking him so you will have to try other ways (like making yourself more irresistible). Remember though that confidence is key, even if you aren't has pretty as the other woman. Your heart is obviously more beautiful than hers! Good luck!
ps-I know how you feel!
I agree completley! This is something to be worried about. You are deffenitly NOT overreacting honey!
Hell no! He shouldn't even have a myspace if he feels the need to associate with other females. That is just trouble. Dont give him any permission to talk to or even meet up with other girls. That is just telling him OKAY BABY CHEAT ON ME. THATS REDICULOUS that u actually trust him after you say he has already donne some shady things. If he really cared for you he would be with you at these hard times your having with your mother and not be so focused on some dumb female that has no respect for a womans husband.
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