I am Married curently and am In love with someone else

When you do leave your wife for this girl, I hope she takes your heart out and stomp on it. This way you would feel all the pain that your wife feels when this happens. Guys like you disgust me.

You couldn't get any lower once you made the statement that you love your wife. You really need to research the word. If you love someone you wouldn't want to hurt them. If this is how you show your love for a woman you made your vows to, go home to everyday, most likely still sleeping with, make a child with, I hate to see how you treat your enemies.

[quote=liz28]When you do leave your wife for this girl, I hope she takes your heart out and stomp on it. This way you would feel all the pain that your wife feels when this happens. Guys like you disgust me.

QUOTE]


He doesn't have a heart...

You are not doing the right thing getting a divorce because you have someone else waiting, that's a recipe for disaster.

It is common that when one lets an infatuation run amok into an affair, it's easy to see all sorts of problems with the marriage & partner that are in fact being unfairly projected by the cheater & belong on their side of the fence. They usually find that out too late when they face the same sort of problems if the affair lasts as long as it takes to get a divorce, which many times it doesn't or ends shortly after that. By then it is too late to make better choices as far as the marriage or the former spouse goes, the damage is done & permanent.

In your case, it sounds like you are harboring anger and/or resentment toward the marriage and/or your spouse due to this "forced" marriage. That is more likely to pop up & become stronger when you have a girlfriend to reinforce them instead of being able to properly sort them out in a more appropriate way. Like with your wife, a good friend in a good marriage and/or professional help.

The fact that your girlfriend is telling you to make things right with your wife (& child) isn't hard to do, it's just words. Her actions say she's ok with you lying & cheating which a good friend wouldn't be. It's like her telling you robbing banks is wrong but she'll drive the getaway car if you want to be a criminal anyway.

If your girlfriend was sincere in wanting your marriage to work, she would stop having anything to do with you so you could sort things out for yourself by yourself. She wants you to think she wants the best for you but in fact is acting as selfishly as you are, so when you two get the chance to have both of your self centeredness clash without the drama & lust of an affair to keep things going in a "fun" way, things can & often do get ugly very quickly with cheaters.

Since you plan to divorce, you need to let your wife know immediately & that you've replaced her with someone else so she can start making better choices for herself instead of getting even more blindsided in Feb.

And before you think this or any other girlfriend is perfect for you, some help in finding out more about yourself & relationships / marriage is strongly suggested so that when you do make a commitment, it sticks instead of making you feel trapped like you are feeling now. Any relationship will do that if you keep thinking the grass is greener somewhere else without being able to see much manure it takes to keep it that way, while letting your lawn at home get full of weeds & unwatered.

Any relationship is going to be good or bad depending on a variety of factors, & the quality of it will always be severely limited or greatly enhanced by what you put into it. You're not putting much into your marriage, so you're not getting much out of it. Instead, you blame your dissatisfaction on the marriage itself or your wife who is still reeling from catching you cheating once already. You have a lot of work to do there to make things right & your girlfriend seems a good escape for you right now instead. Another part of the attraction fueling your selfish actions.

If you don't make better choices immediately, you will find that the relationship with the girlfriend will likely suffer as soon as the "fun" part passes & you're back to actually having to make a real relationship work with the limited skills you have at this point. Then you will be unhappy again & looking for someone new to be "perfect" again. No human is perfect, no relationship or marriage is perfect. Once you are in a real relationship with your girlfriend instead of using her to escape the problems in the marriage you already have some of which you created by cheating, the girlfriend won't seem so perfect anymore.

It takes effort to make & keep things good in our lives & no one else can do that for us, we have to learn how to be happy & satisfied from the inside out & improve things without cheating as a solution. You have so far not learned how to be happy with the blessings you do have & are still looking for someone else to "make" you happy, which is not going to work out for you now or in the future.

Couldn't be more true. She's no angel just because of what she said..."beware of sheep in wolves clothing"

I believe you are doing the right thing. Follow your heart.. Life is too short to live with regrets so make your decision wisely. You need to follow what you believe is best for you. You can still be in your daughters life.. I am 18 and my parents were a one nighter and I love my father with all my heart.. And just because I am 18 doesn't mean I don't know how you feel.. I mean listen, what about when your daughter gets older and you can't take your wife any longer.. [[its never going to be a right time]] but the sooner the better.. If you know you aren't getting anywhere with your wife, then do not, I repeat DO NOT waist yours or her time...good luck!

People, don't be cruel
Life is longer then love
If he is out of love with his wife, then both of them have to move on
Good luck to poster
Marriage is sacred as long as it's not a jail to anyone involved
If you feel smothered, get out while you can, life is way too short to be miserable
Good luck

The part I don't like, which speaks volumes to me, is your willingness to hide, and slink around, rather than stand up and be honest. Not just with your soon to be ex, but everyone involved, including yourself. That makes you a liar, cheater, and deceiver, and not about doing the right thing, but the easy thing. Tell your wife the truth now rather than later.