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On this past july 4th I found out that my husband of almost 30 years has been involved with another woman for 7 years! Their relationship began when he was going away on weekends to visit a disabled relative in a neighboring state. Everyone thought he was a saint for sacrificing at least 2 weekends a month for his dear cousin. We are both 54. He is still a very handsome virile man who looks at least 10 or 15 years younger. I on the other hand look like I am 54. The other woman is about 46, divorced with 4 children. He was enraged, defensive and unwilling to talk about the details when I confronted him. How DARE I invade his privacy?!! Unbelievably I'm not sure if I will leave. I do love him. This is my question, should I call this woman? He says she was absolutely NOTHING to him just sex, that's it. Also I found evidence that they were members of a swing couples club. He insists that they only went to observe. Is it likely that someone involved in that lifestyle
will be able to return to a normal married life. Am I crazy, do I just need more time to get over the shock, is this a deal breaker no matter what? I don't want to be another Hillary Clinton.
Inspired: question: if he cheats again will you leave him? Dont you think that if hes cheated for 3 yrs that you are wasting your time?
If I felt like I was wasting my time - I would be gone. If he cheats again? I can tell you what I might do - but I don't know, to be honest.
I followed my heart on this one - and I hope and pray every day that I made the right choice.
I am so sorry for the hurt and pain that you are going through. Cheating for seven years and you just found out. Question is how many other people has he cheated on you with and by the sounds of your post he is not remorseful and that he thinks its none of his business which is a load of crap. Your married and he has been screwing you over and all he has to say was it was just sex. There is no excuse for this behaviour.
In my personal opinion, and considering your situation I think it is a deal breaker. I also agree that it should be time to get tested for std's.
As far as calling the women or talking to the women, that is a mistake waiting to happen. Please do not contact this women. It is not up to you to contact her. She might not know what is happening or maybe she does? This has to be up to him to do. I know it might seem like you need to but it will just make things a lot messier then they already are for you.
I also think that it is a good idea to talk to a counseler, somebody that can be there to work through this situation with you. All your thoughts and feelings and even options that you can go through.
It is all up to you what you decide is best for you. I know coming here looking for lots of opinions is important for you. Hope you take in everything and decide what you think is best for you.
There's an old saying that apply's verrry well to your situation: "Fool me once, Shame on you... Fool me twice, Shame on me." Let's not allow there to be a "Fool me three times...". Calling this woman would only upset you and make the situation a whole lot worse. Up & leaving would probably be the best thing for you to do. I wish you good luck and happiness.
On this past july 4th I found out that my husband of almost 30 years has been involved with another woman for 7 years! Their relationship began when he was going away on weekends to visit a disabled relative in a neighboring state. Everyone thought he was a saint for sacrificing at least 2 weekends a month for his dear cousin. We are both 54. He is still a very handsome virile man who looks at least 10 or 15 years younger. I on the other hand look like I am 54. The other woman is about 46, divorced with 4 children. He was enraged, defensive and unwilling to talk about the details when I confronted him. How DARE I invade his privacy?!! Unbelievably I'm not sure if I will leave. I do love him. This is my question, should I call this woman? He says she was absolutely NOTHING to him just sex, that's it. Also I found evidence that they were members of a swing couples club. He insists that they only went to observe. Is it likely that someone involved in that lifestyle
will be able to return to a normal married life. Am I crazy, do I just need more time to get over the shock, is this a deal breaker no matter what? I don't want to be another Hillary Clinton.
I'm no expert, but i think you should leave him. you deserve better, if he loved you , he wouldnt need sex from someone else
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