Hey guys got some more questions. Ok, almost 3 weeks ago my husband of 18 months told me he felt he would be happier if he was single. We are both 25 and have been together for almost 10 years. I found out 1 week before he told me this that he and my best friend had been texting each other for 2 months. I confronted them both and they said they were just friends. They didn't have to lie and keep it from me though. Ok, they said out of respect for me they wouldn't talk anymore. Well, 1 week went by and then my husband sends me a text message saying he felt like he would be happier if he was single. It broke my heart. I love my husband more than anything. I am the one that had to leave because the house was his fathers. I put a keylogger on our computer and got password access to our cellphone bill because he blocked it. I found out he and my friend started texting each other again the day after I left. I confronted her about it and told her I knew and she said she is trying to help me this time. She said she is telling my husband how crazy he is being and that he needs to try and work things out with me. Now I haven't really left him alone since I have been gone. I mean I wasn't going out to our house purposely to see him because all my stuff was still out there. He thought I was though. He has been very mean to me over the 2 weeks and I have been very nice and took it because I want our marriage to work. He purchased a new cellphone so he could talk to girls without me knowing. I moved all my stuff out yesterday and left the couch and kitchen table. That was all he got. He is now saying that he wants a divorce. I am not going to file because he is the one that wants this not me. He has had a lot of people tell him he is being crazy and that the grass isn't greener on the other side. They say he will realize it one day and hopefully I will still be around. Honestly I will because I love him. They tell him he will never find anyone like me that loves him the way I do. I am trying so hard to get through this. I am just so confused because he has never been the type to do anything like this. He told me that I have been selfish for almost 10 years and now he is going to be selfish for once in his life. He also says that I am nosy. I don't feel like I was being nosy just concerned about my marriage. Please Help!!!!

emith19

You can get through this. Only a coward would end a marriage through a text. Be strong & just remeber you have the rest of your life in front of you!
I would also question my best friend - being open and honest shows you have nothing to hide, not sneaking around!!

450donn

It is obvious that he missed his youth. And now he wants to try and get it back. I mean you are 25 and have been together for 10 years? Never happen of course, but he will spend all his waking hours trying to reestablish his youthful virility. Some people are ready for marriage at 20, others are never ready to marry. I suspect that he is in the latter category and that he married you because of some outward pressures. All I can suggest is to try and get him into counselling and see what happens. If he is unwilling, then there is not a lot you can do except move on.

liz28

Sometimes things come to end, but it took the coward way out by not even talking to you because he knew he was wrong and whatever truth you would have seen in his eyes he did not want you to see.

Your friend is wrong and I'ld question her loyalty to you because there should not be no sneaking around with texting your husband and the main question is if you did not find out would she have told you? Mostly the answer is no and I believe there more to the story.

Sometimes you have to roll with the punches If you stay with your husband all he would have done was cause pain by cheating on you and could you have lived with that. So you going be hurt but it clear what he want to do and thats play around so let him do that. You deserve better and right now its not him. In order for a marriage to work it take two because its team work and he left the team so just get ready for what you have to go through with your head held high because you did nothing wrong.

Best of Luck

igman

The main ingredient to an affair is self-centeredness and selfishness. From that comes the rest of the bad stuff. Unfortunately, you have no control over what he does and you will have to wait until he stops being selfish. It took my wife 4 months to realize the grass isn't greener and those were 4 months of hell for me.....I have never cried so much in my life. This is all still fresh so you may change your view too. I begged and pleaded with my wife and I finally made peace with it when she came around.

JBeaucaire

I agree that you should make him divorce you, no reason to make this a cake-walk for him. Actions have consequences.

Also, make sure you get a lawyer and get all that is within your rights to get. The divorce is his idea, he will have to pay to make it happen, and I'm sure some sort of alimony coming to you as the "jilted party" is appropriate.

No need to be mean to him, just let him know you're not going to skulk away into a corner and disappear, either. Stand tall and confident and make him pay his way through this selfishness.