Ok I'm 18 and me and my girlfriend have been going out for 2 years she is heavily christian so there is no sex. She is always asking me to to ask her to marry her(if that made sense) she keeps reminding me that she would say yes and i laugh it off and tell her i love her. Sometimes she can do things that she wouldnt let me do n thinks its ok so then i really dont lik her just that every time im with her i wholey and soley can only see her. We are looking like we are goin to different unis next year so even though im a bit strap for cash at moment do i buy the ring?

redhed35

i have to say,the fact that your asking is she the one,and not sure about buying ring,dont do it.

theres loads of time to get married,keep working on your relationship.

i have known christians that have gotten married just to have sex,im not saying that this is the case here.

theres an old saying marry in haste,repent at leisure.

its a big decision,life changing, take your time over this,mull it over,if you both love each other,whats the harm in waiting a while longer.

Cat1864

You both deserve to be with people who you can like all the time. In my opinion, if you only like her when you are with her, then there isn't enough emotion to even date.

I know you tell her you love her, but do you love her when you aren't with her or only when you are or is that just a word you use to temper your disinterest in marriage talk?

I would forget about the ring or playing "anything but intercourse" games and be honest with her and yourself that this relationship does not seem to have a future.

I wish

It's not an age issue. It's a "doubting" issue.

You have to realize that marriage is a HUGE step. So it is strongly recommended that you have a strong relationship before you take that next step. Focus on strengthening the relationship and allow things to flow naturally.

I only caution that if you have lingering doubts, then hold off the engagement until you've sorted out all the issues.

unaffected

Because you are obviously uncertain, and the fact that you two are attending different universities next year, I would hold off.

I do think age has some part in this, and she sounds a bit immature to me, with her constantly asking you to ask her to marry you. I was a girl of 18 once. You dream of someday getting married. You want to be married, very badly. But pressuring someone else into marriage is not healthy, and not very mature.

You may discover over the next year that you do want to be with her forever. But, you may also discover that you are too young to want that commitment yet.

Best of luck in whatever decision you make, Influence.

LearningAsIGo

"If you love someone, let them go."

Try going to different universities and see how things work out. That's a good test of a relationship - see if it can work thru normal trials that other adults face.

I've been with my husband since I was 19 - we were engaged after 6.5 years together. We never pressured each other to get married. I firmly believe a good relationship should be easy and natural.

Just Dahlia

I vote for no ring, you need to get to know each other a little better.
The next time she brings up the marriage thing, ask her why?

Just Dahlia

What exactly are you trying to say here

Influence

Thanks for that info i know i dont really want to say it but i think this is a lil true.

Ill admit it i am not christian so really want sex(yeah im a guy) so as redhead said there are christians that marry to have sex. Im thinking that a lot of the reason i would get married is for that not saying that it should be excluded(even in my inexperience i think u need a good sex life to get married) its just more then the required amount.

And to Cat i really do love her its not just around her every time i think of her she matches perfectly the type of girl i want to spend my life with.

Learning as I go the uni thing is worth a massive shot but if im lonely and havent seen her in awhile then go out and replenish my alcohol supplies I just think that without motivation e.g a ring i cant trust myself(anyone who judges me for that ask any guy and he'll know wat im talking about)

dahlia wat do u mean exactly about learning more of someone after 2 years i know all the basics just wat higher things are you refering too. and ur other post i mean that like she can go shopping with one other guy(as friends calm down he is still alive) then she goes off at me wen the situation was reversed.

Thanks for all this help guys much appreciated. You guys prob think im young and niave. I guess thats why im on here asking this question right?

P.s Im reasonably mature i know wats goin on dont sugar coat things for me give the truth

Fr_Chuck

If you know she is the "ONE" there would be no doubt and you would not even consider going to different colleges if they were very far apart esp.

So date, get though college and if you are still together, then she will be the one.

Also since you mentioned sex, and "she is a chrsitian" can I ask, it sounds like not having sex is starting to become a issue ???