i really am sick of living. i am not unhappy with what i am...... i think. Its just that i dont want to move on anymore. When i turned 16 i wished i was still 10, when i turned 21 i wished i was still 17 and now i wish i was still 24 because i always felt all those were the best days i lived and the present is boring. Btw i always felt the same way no matter what age i was so basically i am a dissatisfied person regardless of what i get. I just cant make the present seem like it is the best.
I just have nothing to life for but just a fast life in a crazy city and i look forward to nothing. I never had an ambition ever.
I was hooked on to prescription drugs on and off. Been an alcoholic all my life.
I dont even know why i am writing this. Its just a stress reliever. I always had this idea in my head i would die around 27 and half years old or so. I got no suicidal tendencies. I just have this thing in my head i am going to die soon and i turned 27 a week ago. knows why but the last years been the year with most sicknesses for me and i wish this puts an end to this sick life.
I cant do whatever i like best because its not even a career option here.

four321zero

i had quite a few typos above when i looked at the preview of my question and some of it didnt even make sense

SkyGem

It is good you are airing your troubles and concerns. You need to know that being hooked on drugs and alcohol can be harmful to you and can attract negative forces into your life. It is always good to consider contacting a licensed, health care professional for matters such as these. These forces tend to work on your emotional level as well as other levels of your being and can bring about less than desirable results. It may well be that your way of thinking has also contributed to what you are now reaping. It is because energy follows thought. You have created a mind-frame for yourself where you have faced negative circumstances in your life and what you have reaped is the "sicknesses" that you speak about. This would be due to the law of Cause and Effect. However, this need not continue! I don't know if you are religious or not but turning to Jesus for Strength has been a wonderful way for many others to overcome the "demons" they are facing in life.

A person cannot hope to have all the questions solved all by themself. The higher Power of God is the one to turn to in one's time of need simply because God created you and you are a child of His and just like a dad cares about His children you can only imagine how much more He who created you Cares about and Loves you! But you must reach out to Him. He needs to know that you are seeking Him and then you must work, with His help, to turn your life around so that you no longer see only the negative aspects but can see the Light and the Positive! It can happen and has happened for so many others but they took that all important first step when they accepted Jesus into their life. There are many evil forces in the world today (energy vampires) that will work and work until they capture an otherwise innocent person's emotional state and then they keep working on them instilling negative thing after negative thing until the result is that a person becomes weaker due to all this and feels like they can't go on. When they reach that point, the adversary can sit back and gloat over the person's weaknesses and the fact that he thinks he has won. But don't be mislead as the devil is a liar! He cannot compete with the Truth, as God can truly help those who want to help themselves!

Let me know if you would like for me to keep you in my prayers as I would be more than happy to! Some people do not want to be helped but I feel you do or you would not have written in this forum. Life Is Worth Living! Don't let the anger of the moment try to convince you otherwise. You have much to accomplish and because you are UNIQUE and there is no one else just like you, you too have been given a task to accomplish while in this life and you can turn your life around so that you can help others who may be struggling with the kind of thing you are facing today!

Do let us hear from you. Remember that your life is PRECIOUS! Do not allow low-level fleeting thoughts to enter your mind. Instead, replace them as they come with High Positive Reinforcement energy. Know that you are SPECIAL! Know that you can OVERCOME! Know that you are now moving to OVERCOME in a very SPECIAL way! Many blessings to you.