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January - Took her new scarf back to the store because it was too
tight.
February - Ordered new drapes for her computer because it had
windows.
March - Got excited when she finished a jigsaw puzzle in six months
because the box said "2-4 years."
April - Was trapped on an escalator for hours when the power went
out.
May - Couldn't make Kool-Aid because 8 cups of water wouldn't fit
into the little packet.
June - Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake
with a slope.
July - After losing in a breast stroke swimming competition,
complained to the judges that the other
swimmers were using their arms.
August - Told her blonde friend to hurry when trying to get into
their locked car using a coat hanger
because it was starting to rain and the top was down.
September - When asked what the capital of California was, she
answered "C".
October - Hates M &Ms because they are so hard to peel. Threw away
half because they were misprinted W&W.
November - Baked a turkey for four days because the instructions
said one hour per pound and she weighed 120.
December - Couldn't call 911 because there was no "11" on any phone
button.
Edited for political correctness.________________________________
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