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Home > Arts & Leisure > Humor & Comedy   »   Today is a good day to smile

 
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Old Apr 29, 2007, 04:15 AM
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talaniman
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Today is a good day to smile

Grown Women
>
> Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a
> guy to call and make
> plans.
> Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the
> guy to get in where
> he fits.
>
> Girls want to control the man in their life.
> Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't
> need! controlling.
>
> Girls check you for not calling them.
> Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.
>
> Girls are afraid to be alone.
> Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for
> personal growth.
>
> Girls ignore the good guys.
> Grown women ignore the bad guys.
>
> Girls make you come home.
> Grown women make you want to come home.
>
> Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good
> enough for their man.
> Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good
> enough for any man.
>
> Girls try to monopolize all their man's time (i.e.,
> don't want him hanging
> with his friends).
> Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes
> the 'together time'
> even more special-and goes to kick it with her own
> friends.
>
> Girls think a guy ! crying is weak.
> Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.
>
> Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
> Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable
> enough to reciprocate
> without fear of losing his 'manhood'.
>
> Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for
> it. Grown women know
> that that was just one man.
>
> Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the
> object of their
> affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
> Grown women know that sometimes the one you love,
> doesn't always love you
> back-and move on, without bitterness.
>
> Girls will read this and get an attitude.
> Grown women will read this and pass it on to other
> Grown women and their
> male friends.
>
> Do not go where the path may lead, go instead, where
> there is no path and
> leave a trail."
>
> WHICH ARE YOU?
>
> A Girl or GROWN WOMAN
> Hmmmm?


WHY AM I MARRIED?






You have two choices in life:



You can stay single and be miserable or get married and wish you were dead.






At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,



"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"

"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."










A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:







"Husband Wanted".



Next day she received a hundred letters.

They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."








When a woman steals your husband,



there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.









A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished






A little boy asked his father,



"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"

Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."





A young son asked,

"Is it true dad, that in some parts of Africa

a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."






] Then there was a woman who said,






"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,



and by then, it was too late."






Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.





If you want your spouse to listen and



pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.






Just think if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.







First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"



Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."









"A Woman's Prayer:



Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom, to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him, and for patience, for his moods.





[Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death "



AND NOW FOR THE FAVORITE!!!







Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.




So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy."


The blind man replies, "If you would've put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus so shut the hell up








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Old Apr 29, 2007, 05:50 AM   #2  
shygrneyzs
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What a great way to start the day! Thanks so much. I like the last one best. grins.
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Old Apr 29, 2007, 02:38 PM   #3  
RubyPitbull
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LOL T-man. I have been forgotting to check the Humor section. Thanks for being diligent with your postings!
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