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Story of two roosters
Asked Jan 12, 2010, 02:12 AM
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19 Answers A farmer went out one day and bought a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, 'OK Old fat, Time For you to retire.' The old rooster replies, 'Come on, Surely you cannot handle ALL of these Chickens. Look what it has done to me Can't you Just let me have the two old hens over in the Corner?' The young Rooster says, 'Beat it: You are washed Up And I am taking Over.' The Old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud. I Will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive Domain over the entire chicken Coop.' The Young rooster laughs. 'You know you don't stand a chance, Old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a Head start.' The Old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young Rooster takes off running after Him. They Round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has Closed the gap. He Is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining Fast! The Farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front Porch When he sees the roosters running By. The Old Rooster is Squawking And running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - He blows the young Rooster to bits.. The farmer sadly shakes his head and Says, 'Dammit..... . Third gay rooster I bought this month.' |
19 Answers
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| Joke about an Indian boy on his first day at school in the USA. It was the first day of school and a new student named Chandrasekhar Subrahmanyam entered the fourth grade. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American History. Who said "Give me Liberty, or give me Death"? She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Chandrasekhar, who had his Hand up: "Patrick Henry, 1775" he said. "Very good!" Who said "Government of the People, by the People, for The People, shall not perish from the Earth?" Again, no response except from Chandrasekhar. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863" Said Chandrasekhar. The teacher snapped at the class, "Class, you should be ashamed. Chandrasekhar, who is new to our country, knows more! About its history Than you do." She heard a loud whisper: "F**k the Indians," "Who said that?" she demanded. Chandrasekhar put his hand up. "General Custer, 1862." At that point, a student in the back said, "I'm going to puke." The teacher glares around and asks "All right! Now, who said that?" Again, Chandrasekhar says, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991." Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? S*ck this!" Chandrasekhar jumps out of his chair waving his hand and shouts to The teacher, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!" Now with almost mob hysteria someone said "You little . If you say Anything else, I'll kill you." Chandrasekhar frantically yells at the top of his voice, "Gary Condit To Chandra Levy, 2001." The teacher fainted. And as the class gathered around the teacher on The floor, someone said, "Oh , we're f**ked!" And Chandrasekhar said quietly, "George Bush, Iraq, 2005...? | ||||
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| Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven! Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven! Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got? Paddy: Six. Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got? Paddy: Seven! Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven? Paddy: I've already got one rabbit at home now! | ||||
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| A Priest dies & is awaiting his turn in line at the Heaven's Gates. Ahead of him is a guy, fashionably dressed, in dark sun glasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket & jeans. God asks him: Please tell me who are you, so that I may know whether to admit you into the kingdom of Heaven or not? The guy replies: I am Pandi , Auto driver from Chennai! God consults his ledger, smiles & says to Pandi : Please take this silken robe & gold scarf & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .... Now it is the priest's turn. He stands erect and speaks out in a booming voice: I am Pope's Assistant so & so, Head Priest of the so & so Church for the last 40 years. God consults his ledger & says to the Priest: Please take this cotton robe & enter the Kingdom of Heaven .... 'Just a minute,' says the agonized Priest. 'How is it that a foul mouthed, rash driving Auto Driver is given a Silken robe & a Golden scarf and me, a Priest, who's spent his whole life preaching your Name & goodness has to make do with a Cotton robe?' 'Results my friend, results,' shrugs God. 'While you preached, people SLEPT; but when he drove his Auto, people PRAYED' It's PERFORMANCE & not POSITION that ultimately counts | ||||
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