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Home > Arts & Leisure > Humor & Comedy   »   She was Soooooooo Blonde

 
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Old Apr 29, 2008, 10:46 PM
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She was Soooooooo Blonde

She was Soooooooo Blonde.
* She thought a quarterback was a refund.
* She thought General Motors was in the army.
* She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.
* She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
* At the bottom of an application where it says 'Sign here:' she wrote 'Sagittarius.'

She Was Soooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She took the ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
* She sent a fax with a stamp on it.
* Under 'education' on her job application, she put 'Hooked On Phonics.'

She was Sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* She tripped over a cord less phone.
* She spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice can because it said 'Concentrate.'
* She told me to meet her at the corner of 'WALK' and 'DON'T WALK.'
* She tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

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Old May 6, 2008, 07:18 PM   #21  
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OK so a few additions


She Was Sooooooooooooooooooooo Blonde...
* When she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.
* She thought if she spoke her mind, she'd be speechless.
* She thought that she could not use her AM radio in the evening.
* She had a shirt that said 'TGIF,' which she thought stood for 'This Goes In Front.'

AND ALWAYS A FAVOURITE:
She is sooooooooooooooooo Blonde...

She thinks Taco Bell is the Mexican phone company.
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Old May 6, 2008, 07:26 PM   #22  
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Haha Friend, LOL
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Old May 6, 2008, 09:06 PM   #23  
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Great additions, friend4u178!!
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Old May 7, 2008, 11:58 PM   #24  
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Why did you all start a thread to make fun of me?? Just when I was sitting here putting my M&M's all in alphabetical order, and concentrating on getting my quarterback, so I can buy stamps to send more faxes!! I'm so upset that I got up and tripped over my cordless phone!!

Ohhh you...you...you...I'd speak my mind but I'm afraid I'm speechless!!

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friend4u178 agrees: LMAO..............nice starby :)
jrebel7 agrees: Loved it Starby!!! :)
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Old May 9, 2008, 12:20 AM   #25  
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LOGIC
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or
the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"

SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
could see her license.
She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"

RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
other side?"
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
"You ARE on the other side."

AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed, likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."

KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
wheel was knitting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

WATCH DOGS
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were.
The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex.
Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"



Like I have said before, we Blondes tend to think quickly, A to Z.


Examples:

Doctor's Office
Well, the red head might have lied and really not been a natural Blonde...I have serious doubts about that one and the doctor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Knitting:
The Knitting story shows we can concentrate on the task at hand!

Logic:
Ok, now I will give you all that one! But just for tonight.

River Walk:
Has anyone, not Blonde, said to you on the phone if you ask "Are you there?" reply to you, "No, I'm here!" Honestly.................I have and he wasn't a Blonde. Any true Blonde would respond by asking, "Where"? We are very practical people you know.

Speeding Ticket:
It depends on whether you have a polite cop or not, asking for something they just took from you and weren't kind enough to give back yet......has nothing to do with the driver being Blonde! Goodness sakes!

Watch Dogs:
H e l l o o o o ..............................are Rolex and Timex not brands of watches.....answer by association.....quick thinking I would say. Just saves time.

NOW YOU SEE OF COURSE THE A to Z of things!

Doctor's Office
Knitting
Logic
River Walk
Speeding Ticket
Watch Dogs

D,K,L,R,S and W!

Have fun, I am!!! Being blonde isn't a requirement for having fun, just a plus! (ALL IN GOOD FUN, ALL IN GOOD FUN!)
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Old May 9, 2008, 03:04 PM   #26  
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Jreb I had to spread the rep , great additions
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Old May 9, 2008, 03:09 PM   #27  
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classic jokes
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Old May 9, 2008, 03:30 PM   #28  
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This is great! M, Rebby, you guys did awesome, dare I add a blonde joke?

Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
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Old May 9, 2008, 04:57 PM   #29  
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Hee hee Rebby!!
Oh goodness Alty, loved it!
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Old May 9, 2008, 08:33 PM   #30  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Altenweg
This is great! M, Rebby, you guys did awesome, dare I add a blonde joke?

Are You Really Sure?
A blind guy on a bar stool shouts to the bartender, "Wanna hear a blonde joke?"

In a hushed voice, the guy next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, you should know something."

Our bartender IS blonde, the bouncer is blonde. I'm a 6' tall, 200 lb black belt. The guy sitting next to me is 6'2", weighs 225, and he's a rugby player. The fella to your right is 6'5" pushing 300 and he's a wrestler. Each one of US is blonde. Think about it, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind guy says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Alty, that was royal! I was going to have a surprise for you tonight at the party but guess I will have to wait until next week. My sister is in from Tenn. and she and her husband came over for dinner after they took care of mother at the nursing home in my place....giving us a little break.
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