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Home > Arts & Leisure > Humor & Comedy   »   next step to english?

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Old Oct 27, 2009, 10:47 PM
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next step to english?

The European Union commissioners have announced agreement to adopt English as the preferred language for European communications, rather than German, which was the other possibility. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year phased plan for what will be known as EuroEnglish (Euro for short).

In the first year, "s" will be used instead of the soft "c". Sertainly, sivil servants will resieve this news with joy. Also, the hard "c" will be replaced with "k." Not only will this klear up konfusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced by "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20 per sent shorter. In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of silent "e"s in the languag is disgrasful, and they would go.

By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" by "z" and "W" by "V".

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary "o"kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou", and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil b no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru.

* The sole purpose of above content is merely for fun, does not have anything to do with racism or nationality*

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Old Oct 27, 2009, 11:12 PM   #2  
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haha the middle part of it reminded me of some of the posts we get on her sometimes.
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Old Oct 28, 2009, 02:53 AM   #3  
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You made this up after 3 hours on the "teens" forum, didn't you?
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Old Oct 28, 2009, 09:39 AM   #4  
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Zat was GREAT!! I loved it!
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Old Oct 29, 2009, 01:03 AM   #5  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Catsmine View Post
You made this up after 3 hours on the "teens" forum, didn't you?
Teens are spoiling the real English, Years later, English will be totally different.
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Old Oct 29, 2009, 02:53 AM   #6  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by sergie View Post
Teens are spoiling the real English, Years later, English will be totally different.
It already is.
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Old Oct 29, 2009, 04:41 PM   #7  
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Haha, that just did my head in

I got lost about 3/4 of the way through!
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Old Oct 30, 2009, 01:17 PM   #8  
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I am not considered a teen anymore but I hate the chat talk and text talk. So it is still safe my way. I don't even shorten words in a text message because I hate it. Haha

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spitvenom agrees: I am with you on that!!!!!
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Old Oct 30, 2009, 01:21 PM   #9  
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Very amusing and someone spent considerable time putting that together.Thanks for sharing
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Old Oct 30, 2009, 09:41 PM   #10  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by artlady View Post
Very amusing and someone spent considerable time putting that together.Thanks for sharing
you are welcome artlady. I am glad everyone liked it.
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