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Home > Arts & Leisure > Humor & Comedy   »   Newspaper Demographics

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Old Mar 2, 2007, 08:49 AM
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Newspaper Demographics

Subject: Newspaper Demographics



NEWSPAPER READERS

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don't really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn't mind running the country - if they could find the time, and if they didn't have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a far superior job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren't too sure who's running the country and don't really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don't care who's running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren't sure there is a country, or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions: if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, gay, atheist, dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided, of course, that they are not conservatives.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. And, finally, the country IS run by someone who doesn't read a newspaper at all.

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Old Mar 2, 2007, 05:47 PM   #2  
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Way Cool! I love it. And my town newspaper is read by people that think they still have a country!
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Old Mar 2, 2007, 05:55 PM   #3  
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My hometown newspaper is more concerned about illegal cohabitation right now. Shame on the 23,00 residents in North Dakota living in sin. Tsk Tsk.
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Old Mar 2, 2007, 06:14 PM   #4  
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Don't they know it's cold there?

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shygrneyzs agrees: lmao. Especially the last couple of days - that artic air swooped down. Winds of 50 mph - a real three dog night.
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Old Mar 3, 2007, 05:02 AM   #5  
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My hometown paper is read by people who don't know there is anything going on outside of their own general vicinity.
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Old Mar 3, 2007, 05:05 AM   #6  
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One could start a newspaper about what the others don't report on!
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Old Mar 3, 2007, 05:12 AM   #7  
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Well, mr. yet, if I did that, I would quickly find myself in a position where I would desperately need your advice. And then you will say to me, "What, are you nuts? Why on earth did you start a newspaper? Of course it is a recipe for immediate bankruptcy. What do you know? Pitbull knowlege isn't a basis to start a newspaper! Ruby, you are a complete idiot with the brains of a dog!
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Old Mar 3, 2007, 05:26 AM   #8  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by RubyPitbull
Well, mr. yet, if I did that, I would quickly find myself in a position where I would desperately need your advice. And then you will say to me, "What, are you nuts? Why on earth did you start a newspaper? Of course it is a recipe for immediate bankruptcy. What do you know? Pitbull knowlege isn't a basis to start a newspaper! Ruby, you are a complete idiot with the brains of a dog!

This was not a suggestion that you start one, it was about the old saying quote " One could fill volumes on what the don't report on or say"
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Old Mar 3, 2007, 05:35 AM   #9  
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Sorry I misunderstood. Never heard that quote before. I am not too smart.

But, now I understand what you are saying. I think that is the biggest problem that we have right now. Selective reporting.

I was flipping through the channels last night and saw a program that was solely dedicated to Anna Nicole Smith's funeral! Okay, it is always sad to hear about someone dying but I can't wrap my head around the fact that everything else in the world is being ignored to report her funeral! We have been barraged with 3 weeks of news about her death and there seems no end in sight! It just blows my mind!

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shygrneyzs agrees: I am also so sick of the Anna Nicole debauchery.
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Old Mar 10, 2007, 07:27 AM   #10  
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They publish my hometown paper for people with parakeets, and new puppies.
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