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This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house. The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and smells the distinctive smell of paint.
He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat. He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is ok.
She replies yes.
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has a ski jacket over her fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS.
Q. What do you call a blond with a brain?
A. A golden retriever.
Now before this goes any further, I think we should establish some ground rules for future jokes, if any of the jokes above have broken these rules, then it is fine just dont do it in the future
1. KEEP THE JOKES CLEAN AT ALL TIMES, NO NUDITY, NO SEX, NO BDSM AND THAT SORT OF THING EVER.. PERIOD.
2. Please do not post yo mama jokes or jokes that harass people's mums, come on man do you want your mum do be hassled???
3. Blonde jokes are fine, but please do remember that blondes arent like that in real life.
4. Racist jokes are fine, making sure that you make sure that the point of you telling these jokes is not to make fun but to have a bit of laugh, i think we will all understand if you tell a coupla jokes about asians (I am asian) but dont actually mean for the joke to actually offend!! WE ALL HAVE TO LAUGH AT OURSELVES SOMETIMES BUT THE JOKES SHOULD, I REPEAT, NEVER OFFEND OR HURT!!!
5. Jokes that break the rules above or any rules that the people think fit will be reported and dealt with!! PERIOD. Don't think that you are smart and wont be caught, because you will, PERIOD.
Here comes more jokes for those of you that bothered to read the rules
and if you have any issues regarding the above rules then feel free to talk to me and we will see if any changes can be made.
and thanx again for the jokes you guys provide for me they are lovely!!! you guys rock
Here are my jokes for today
What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
Gifted
How do you confuse a blonde?
You don't, they are born that way
Why did the girl fall out of the swing?
She had no arms
On the plane to London, how do you take the window seat from a blonde?
Tell her the seats going to London are all in the middle row
Why did the blonde get fired from the M&M's factory
Because she ate all the 'W's
How do you know if a fax has been sent by a blonde?
It has a stamp on it.
A blonde is driving down a country road when she see's another blonde in the middle of a field in a small boat rowing like crazy. This anger's the driver to no end, so she pulls off to the side of the road and stands at the edge of the field screaming.
"It's blondes like you that give blondes like me a bad name, and I swear if I could swim I would come out there and kick your butt!"
how do u make a chav run faster................................put a DVD player under his arm
a cowboy walks into a bar and sees a nice looking woman at the bar, he walks over and asks if he could buy her a drink, she says ' what! i dont deal with your cowboy types, i know you have sex with all the animals cows, sheep, horses, chickens whatever,'
cowboy says 'WHAT,CHICKENS?'
three blondes go to the doctors because they are all pregnant,
1st says 'i was on top so im gonna have a boy'
2nd says ' i was on bottom so im gonna have a girl'
the third one starts to cry
then says ' oh no im gonna have puppies'
whats a bad day for a blonde.....................she cant find her pencil and her tampons behind her ear
what did one lesbian frog say to the other lesbian frog
..........................mmmmmmmm you do taste just like chicken
Dawn Fench was arested the other day for possesion......................she bent over to tie her shoe and revealed 42 tonnes of crack
A blonde, wanting to earn some extra money, decided to hire herself out as a
"handy-woman" and started canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood. She
went to the front door of the first house, and asked the owner if he had any
odd jobs for her to do. "Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint my
porch," he said. "How much would you charge me?"
The blonde quickly responded, "How about $50?" The man agreed and told her
that the paint and everything she would need were in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she
realize that our porch goes all the way around the house?"
He responded, "That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" The wife replied, "You're
right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those 'dumb blonde' jokes we've
been getting by e-mail lately."
A short time later , the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" the husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two
coats." Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50.00 and handed
it to her. "And by the way," the blonde added, "it's not a Porch, it's a
Lexus.
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