Grandparent Humor

talaniman · #1 May 14, 2007, 04:22 AM

My young grandson called the other day to wish me
Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62"
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you
Start at 1?"

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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother
Changed into old
Slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her
Hair. As she heard the
Children getting more and more rambunctious, her
Patience grew thin. At last
She threw a towel around her head and stormed into
Their room,
Putting them back to bed with stern warnings. As she
Left the room, she
Heard the three-year-old say with a trembling voice,
"Who was THAT?"

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A grandfather was telling his little grandson what his
Own childhood was
Like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
Swing made from a tire;
It hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode
Our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last
She said, "I sure
Wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"

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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked,
"Grandpa, do you know how
You and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how
Are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.

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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her
Grandfather's' word
Processor. She told him she was writing a story.
"What's it about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied. "I can't read."

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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her
Colors yet, so I decided
To test her. I would point out something and ask what
Color it was. She
Would tell me, and always she was correct. But it was
Fun for me, so I
Continued.
At last she headed for the door, saying sagely,
"Grandma, I think you should
Try to figure out some of these yourself!"

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When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation
Cabin, we kept the lights
Off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
Insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them
Before I did, Billy
Whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are
Coming after us with
Flashlights."

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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly
Replied, "I'm not
Sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised.
"Mine says I'm four to
Six."

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A second grader came home from school and said to her
Grandmother, "Grandma,
Guess what? We learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried
To keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "How do you make
Babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y'
To 'I and add "es'"

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Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public
Servant," said a
Teacher. The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down
The ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't
You know what pregnant
Means?" she asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means
Carrying a child."

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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station
Wagon full of kids home
One day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
Front seat of the fire
Truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children started
Discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one
Youngster.
"No", said another, "he's just for good luck"
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They
Use the dogs", she said
Firmly, "to find the fire hydrant."

Rockabilly1955mama · May 14, 2007, 11:20 AM

Haha, that made my day!!

Thanks for that talaniman!