I found some more - Just for fun.

Computing Definition:

Access Time - The time between the instant at which information is called for, and the instant at which management expects the final report.

Assembler - One who drops his card deck.

Bit - The increment by which programmers slowly go mad.

Breakpoint - The point at which programmer increments past last bit available.

Chaining - A method of attaching programmers to desk, to speed up output.

Checkpoint - The location from which a programmer draws his salary.

Core storage - A receptacle for the centre section of apples.

Counter - An area over which martini's are served.

Crash - What a detached programmer would dearly love to do, for at least eight hours.

Default - De line west of which de state of California will float off to sea at de next major quake.

Device - Medieval torture instrument such as thumbscrew, iron maiden.

Documentation - A manual which tells you how to use a program, system, or utility one version ago, and which is now unsupported.

Error - What someone else has made when they disagree with your computer output.

External Storage - Wastebasket.

Fixed Word Length - Four letter word used by programmers in a state of confusion.

Hardware - Nuts, bolts, and circuit boards "left over" after repairman has reassembled cpu.

I/O Device - Note you sign for the bank in/order to get loan for new (old) car.

Library - An organized collection of obsolete material.

Low Order Position - The programmer's location in the chain of command.

Mainframe - Primary person who just got set up for the blame of the system crash.

Microsecond - Amount of time needed for a program to bomb.

Nanosecond - Measure of time on mork's planet ork.

Off-Line - Uncharitable remarks programmer makes to wife or husband upon being phoned at 9pm to come in because system just crashed.

On-Line - Programmer trying to deal rationally on phone with management at 9pm.

Peripheral - Now you see it, now you don't...

Printout - A document to verify data you know is wrong anyway.

Programmer - Red eyed mumbling mammal, capable of communicating with inanimate objects.

Source file - One which was "appropriated" from one of the competitors.

Switch - When management changes its mind.

Computer Humour

Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Web.
Ne'er a hacker was surfin', not even Ms. Deb.
The e-mails were stacked by the modem with care,
in the hopes that St. Wilhelm soon would be there;
The newbies were nestled all snug near their screens,
While visions of Java danced in their dreams.
Mamma on the sofa, and I with a snack,
Had just settled down at my Computer named Mack,
When out in the Web there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to the site to see what was the matter.
To a new window Mack flew like a flash,
Then made a slight gurgle, I thought he would crash.
I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned my head sideways and clicked on my mouse.
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But Mack jumped to a page which wasn't quite clear;
When the image resolved, so bright and agile,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Wil.
More rapid than mainframes more graphics they came,
Then Wil glanced toward my screen & Mack called then by name;
"Now, Compaq, now Acer!" my speaker did reel;
"On, Apple! On Gateway!", Then Wil started to squeal.
"Jump onto the circuits! And into the chip!
Now speed it up! Speed it up! Make This thing hip!"
The screen gave a flicker, he was into my RAM,
Then, into my room rose a full hologram.
He was dressed in polyester, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black with white socks, that he really could lose.
A bundle of discs he had in his backpack, He looked like a Hacker just beginning to Hack. His eyes - How they twinkled! His glasses how techno!
It was hard to believe that he did this pro bono.
A pocket protector stuck out from his shirt,
Which was stained only once by a little blue spurt.
He wore his pants high and his tie in a bow,
and the fuzz on his chin had just started to grow.
He had a skinny face but a little beer belly,
And his hair was slicked sideways with petroleum jelly.
I took a step back when I noticed its sheen,
Wil looked around then walked up to my screen.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, not even a joke,
And accessed my root directory with only a stroke.
He defragged my hard drive and added a SIMM,
Then threw in some games, just on a whim.
He worked without noise, his finger's they flew,
As he distorted some pictures with Kai's Power Goo.
He updated Office, Excel and Quicken.
Then added a screen-saver with a clucking red chicken.
My eyes widened a bit as I stood there agape,
As he even installed the latest version Netscape.
Mack's drive gave a whirl, as if he were pleased.
St Wil finally smiled, with the computer appeased.
And laying his finger on the bridge of his nose,
and giving a nod, he turned into ones and zeros.
He flew back into my screen and up my uplink,
Back into the Net with barely a blink.
But I heard his shrill voice, ere he flew from my sight,
"HAPPY SURFING TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD BYTE."