God returned to the Garden of Eden to see how things were progressing and spots Adam enjoying a bit of sun-bathing.

" Hi there Adam - How's things going ?? "

" Well Lord it is just great. I've even started giving things names......
That Big yellow thing - I've called the Sun.......
and all that blue around it - is Sky and the white stuff I've called Clouds...
and this green stuff here - I've called Grass........
That green wet stuff I've called Sea.......... "

"Yes - that's all well and good Adam, but what about Eve ?? How are you getting on with her ??? "

"Well Lord - she is the best thing that ever happened to me. She's a nympho - regular sex maniac - we're at it all day and all night - she just will not keep her hands off me !!!!"

"Wonderful !! " says God " but where is she ???"

"Well she'd down in that stuff called the Sea - getting washed after our last little session "

" **** !!!! " says God " I've just put the bloody fish in there !!!!!"

(Wonder if it will get past the Moderators ?? )

valinors_sorrow

groans . . . that WAS naughty Jonegy!!


On the first day God created the dog. God said, "Sit
all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone
who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life
span of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me
ten years and I'll give you back the other ten." So
God agreed.

On the second day God created the monkey. God said,
"Entertain people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh.
I'll give you a twenty-year life span."

The monkey said, "How boring. Monkey tricks for twenty
years? I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so
that's what I'll do too, okay?" And God agreed.

On the third day God created the cow. God said, "You
must go to the field with the farmer all day long and
suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to
support the farmer. I will give you a life span of
sixty years."

The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me
to live for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll
give back the other forty." And God agreed again.

On the fourth day God created man. God said, "Eat,
sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. I'll give you
twenty years."

Man said, "What? Only twenty years?! Tell you what,
I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back
and the ten the monkey gave back and the ten the dog
gave back...that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep,
play, and enjoy ourselves; for the next forty years we
slave in the sun to support our family; for the next
ten years we do monkey tricks to entertain the
grandchildren; and for the last ten years we sit on
the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.