Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help!
  Advanced
Register  |  Log in  
   Ask    
 Answer  
  Help  

Ask QuestionsprogressAnswer QuestionsprogressBuild ReputationprogressBecome an Expert
 
Free Answers in 3 Easy Steps

Register Now
3 Steps

At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to:
  • Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics.
  • Accept money for answers that you provide.
  • Communicate privately with other members (PM).
  • See fewer ads.

Home > Arts & Leisure > Humor & Comedy   »   English is really crazy, FOR ME,LOL

 
Question Tools Search this Question Display Modes
Question
 
 
#1  
Old Aug 3, 2007, 11:30 AM
nicespringgirl's Avatar
nicespringgirl
Ultra Member
nicespringgirl is offline
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,254
nicespringgirl See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.nicespringgirl See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
English is really crazy, FOR ME,LOL

English is really crazy
There is no egg in eggplant nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins were not invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So, one moose, 2 meese? One index, two indices? Is cheese the plural of choose?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

In what language do people recite at a play, and play at a recital?

Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways? How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can the weather be hot as hell one day and cold as hell another?

When a house burns up, it burns down. You fill in a form by filling it out, and an alarm clock goes off by going on.

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.

Reply With Quote
 
     

Answers
 
 
Old Aug 3, 2007, 11:37 AM   #2  
alkalineangel
Ultra Member
alkalineangel is offline
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Lucky Kentucky
Posts: 2,195
alkalineangel See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.alkalineangel See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.alkalineangel See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Call alkalineangel via Skype™ Send a message via AIM to alkalineangel Send a message via MSN to alkalineangel Send a message via Yahoo to alkalineangel
I got this in an email once...always interesting!
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 3, 2007, 08:37 PM   #3  
worthbeads
Senior Member
worthbeads is offline
 
worthbeads's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: The Future
Posts: 570
worthbeads See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
The English and the Americans understand the language English because we're not retarded. JUST FIGURE IT OUT AND STOP COMPLAINING!!!!! If you hate English so much stop speaking it!

Comments on this post
Canada_Sweety agrees: True.. And I <3 Bender!
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 4, 2007, 07:08 AM   #4  
nicespringgirl
Ultra Member
nicespringgirl is offline
 
nicespringgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,254
nicespringgirl See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.nicespringgirl See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Oh I love English A LOT!
nothing offensive, sorry if I made u think this way.
I just thought it's funny, this joke.

Comments on this post
CaptainRich agrees: Definitely funny! Definitely NOT retarded!
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 9, 2007, 09:51 AM   #5  
talaniman
Relationship Expert
talaniman is offline
 
talaniman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Space Is The Place
Posts: 15,878
talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.talaniman See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Yes it was LOL, Come to Texas and see how funny we sound.
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 13, 2007, 12:16 PM   #6  
ultimate_user_name
Junior Member
ultimate_user_name is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 75
ultimate_user_name See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
hey i live in texas ! only some ppl sound funny, in general it's just american accent, but i do know a few ppl whos typical greeting is: 'howdy ya'll !
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 13, 2007, 12:17 PM   #7  
ultimate_user_name
Junior Member
ultimate_user_name is offline
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Posts: 75
ultimate_user_name See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
ive found that ppl in missouri have funnier accents than texans, ive got a few relatives up ther
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 13, 2007, 12:31 PM   #8  
nicespringgirl
Ultra Member
nicespringgirl is offline
 
nicespringgirl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 1,254
nicespringgirl See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.nicespringgirl See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Yes, in Texas-"Howdy!" LOL
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 14, 2007, 03:26 AM   #9  
firmbeliever
Follower of Islam
firmbeliever is offline
 
firmbeliever's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: On a path to peace,complete peace!
Posts: 2,313
firmbeliever See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.firmbeliever See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.firmbeliever See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.firmbeliever See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
It is fun for those of us whose native tongue is not English...especially when it gets mixed up in our languages..
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Aug 14, 2007, 04:17 AM   #10  
Capuchin
Science Expert
Capuchin is offline
 
Capuchin's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: UK
Posts: 4,647
Capuchin See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Capuchin See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Capuchin See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Capuchin See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Capuchin See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.Capuchin See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Call Capuchin via Skype™ Send a message via MSN to Capuchin
Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
English is really crazy
Not so.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
There is no egg in eggplant
Early eggplants were small and creamy in color, and looked like eggs.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
nor ham in hamburger
It's named after Hamburg, Germany.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
neither apple nor pine in pineapple
Pineapples are named because they look like pinecones, the fruit of the pine tree, hence pine-apple.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
English muffins were not invented in England
But the word muffin was, the phrase was coined by an englishman who moved to America.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
or French fries in France
French refers to the style of cooking, not to the place of origin. "Frenching".

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
Sweetmeats are candies
Meat doesn't only refer to the flesh of animals, it can also refer to most foods, including fruits and nuts. Since sweetmeats were orginally candied fruits, this is probably the origin.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat
Sweet originally meant "pleasing to the senses", rather than the modern meaning. "Bread" originally meant flesh.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly
"Quick" means alive in this context, not fast.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
boxing rings are square
Fighting bouts used to be performed in a circle drawn on the ground.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.
It looks like a pig and it sounds like a pig... the "pig" part is easily explained. In England, "Guinea" was a common name for any foreign land, so may well just indicate that they are from a far-off place.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
-arian means "An advocate of". A vegetarian is one is an advocate of vegetables, A humanitarian is one who advocates humanity.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
Ship by truck, and send cargo by ship?
Cargo is defined as "The freight carried by a ship, an aircraft, or another vehicle." This doesn't specifically mean ship. Shipping something is the same deal, it can go by any form of transport.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
Have noses that run and feet that smell?
I hope this one is plain.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
Park on driveways and drive on parkways?
Parkways have nothign to do with parking cars, they have to do with the meaning of park as "A piece of land with few or no buildings within or adjoining a town, maintained for recreational and ornamental purposes." A parkway is a street lined with trees. A Driveway is not for parking on, it is for driving into your garage where you park your car. It's your fault if you want to keep tools in your garage and park on your driveway, not the English language's. :P

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same
Fat chance is the sarcastic opposite of slim chance. Tfe two are used differently.

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?
They aren't, a wise man is someone who knows a lot. A wise guy is someone who knows a lot and uses it to piss you off!

Quote:
Originally Posted by nicespringgirl
When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.
Out used in 2 different senses, "out in the open" and "off".

How's that? I missed a few out but I hope this helps ;D (yes, I wrote this all out).

Comments on this post
worthbeads agrees: Wow, way to stick it in her face! :D
  Reply With Quote
 
     


Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

 
Similar Sponsors

Similar Questions
Question Asker Topic Answers Last Post
Neopets lol xAjikanx Games 13 Apr 8, 2008 01:09 PM
Tell me how it is lol. nicolep Dating 4 Apr 18, 2007 11:38 AM
Lol!!! Saverwing Humor & Comedy 1 Mar 2, 2007 06:41 PM
Flamewarriors lol! pennybot Other Member Discussions 6 Jan 9, 2007 03:08 PM
Hello ^_^ everyone (lol) koh132001 Introductions 3 Feb 20, 2006 11:03 AM




Copyright ©2003 - 2007, Ask Me Help Desk.
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 03:03 AM.

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC6 © 2006, Crawlability, Inc.