This may have been posted before but I can't find it. Thought it was clever - and true.

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary:
8:00 AM - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 AM - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 AM - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 AM - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 PM - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 PM - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 PM - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 PM - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 PM - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 PM - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 PM - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing


Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:
Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Ba**ards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

Catsmine

I think I have seen it before, but it's still hilarious.

Just Dahlia

I know I have, but it's always great and I always forget some part

Altenweg

I love it Judy. I just forwarded to my friend.

spitvenom

My cats trip me all the time. I swear they plan it. It is almost like one kid bending down behind you while another kid runs up pushes you.

shazamataz

Love it, so true!

The dog one makes me think of Brody today...
He gets so, so excited when I put his collar on because he thinks it means he's going to the park.

I put his collar on this morning, we walked out to the car, all the while he was jumping around dancing.

Went for as nice drive and got out the car (still jumping and dancing)

Opened the door to the vets and he jammed his tail between his legs and tried to run.

Poor bugger... we pick him up in 5 1/2 hours