Question
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Sep 13, 2007, 03:29 AM
|  | Administrator  | | Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Cave 4, Qumran
Posts: 6,889
| | | beer/drinking funnies.
I don't know if these quotes are real, but I thought some funny.
"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~ Frank Sinatra
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
I do l ove Stephen Wright 
"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
And the best for last,
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. .. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
~ Cliff Clavin
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Answers
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Sep 13, 2007, 03:36 AM
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#2
| | Cars & Trucks Expert
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Pale Blue Dot
Posts: 4,426
| I watched the episode of Cheers when Cliff said that.... and I've seen the others, too. All appear to be not just funny, but genuine as well. And, yes...Stephen Wright is WAY funny. Thanks, Rick | |
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Sep 13, 2007, 04:27 AM
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#3
| | Science Expert
Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: UK
Posts: 4,588
| More!
"The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." - Humphrey Bogart
"I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer." - Abraham Lincoln
"Everybody has to believe in something.....I believe I'll have another drink." - W.C. Fields
"Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me." - Sir Winston Churchill
"Beer: The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems." - Homer Simpson  | |
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Sep 13, 2007, 04:32 AM
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#4
| | Ultra Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 1,032
| Cliff, you monster you. Don't drink beer it's for those who can't hold their liquor  | |
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Sep 13, 2007, 04:35 AM
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#5
| | Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Cave 4, Qumran
Posts: 6,889
| haha, excellent additions   | |
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Sep 13, 2007, 04:43 AM
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#6
| | Cars & Trucks Expert
Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Pale Blue Dot
Posts: 4,426
| "If I had more hands, I'd drink more beer!"  | |
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Sep 13, 2007, 04:45 AM
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#7
| | Senior Member
Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 839
| O God, that men should put an enemy in their mouths to steal away their brains! that we should, with joy, pleasance, revel, and applause, transform ourselves into beasts! ~William Shakespeare, Othello
Work is the curse of the drinking classes. ~ Oscar Wilde
What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch? ~ W. Clement Stone
and to finish, one of my favourite quotes from the Simpsons;
Homer: But every time I learn something new, it pushes out something old! Remember that time I took a home wine-making course and forgot how to drive?
Marge: That's because you were drunk!
Homer: [smiling to self] And how!
Excellent thread! There's so many to add too! | |
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Sep 13, 2007, 05:02 AM
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#8
| | | Health Expert
Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: La La Land
Posts: 17,995
Pay to call J_9 for advice ($.75/min) | Quote: | Originally Posted by RickJ
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this. .. A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."
~ Cliff Clavin |
That's it. I'm drinking a 6 pack before a test from now on!!! | |
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Sep 14, 2007, 04:19 PM
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#9
| | Junior Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 31
| Great pic captain rich!!!!
Oh yeah, funny beer jokes too!!!! | |
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