Jaime sends me the cutest things sometimes... Here's another one.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I did -


[SIZE=7]13 Reasons to Smile[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=6]Marriage changes passion.Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=6]I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]So I said "Implants?" She hit me.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=6]How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=6]A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"[/SIZE]


[SIZE=6]I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place![/SIZE]

[SIZE=6]When I was young we used to go "skinny dipping," now I just "chunky dunk."[/SIZE]


[SIZE=6]Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.[/SIZE]

[SIZE=6]Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press 'Ctrl Alt Delete' and start all over? AMEN, AMEN !![/SIZE]


[SIZE=6]Why is it that our children can't read a Bible in school, but they can in prison?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=6]Wouldn't you know it...Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FATcells live forever.[/SIZE]


[SIZE=6]Why do I have to swear on the Bible in court when the Ten Commandments cannot be displayed outside?[/SIZE]

[SIZE=6]Bumper sticker of the year:[/SIZE]
[SIZE=6]"If you can read this, thank a teacher - and, since it's in English, thank a soldier"[/SIZE]

[SIZE=6]And remember: life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.[/SIZE]

valinors_sorrow

Those were great!

fredg

Very Good.
Another one;
It's sometimes better to keep one's mouth closed and appear as a fool, rather than open it and remove all doubt.

Kadehadaire

What a way to make someone smile!

Amythest

those were awesome. I like ....I am 22 but look more like 17 which means teh only guys who ever hit on me are eihter 15 or 40 :P