[noodles666]

I have a problem which has I've repeated all my life.
I just split from a girl after 4 years. The relationship was very volatile, passionate, but ultimately , unhealthy and going nowhere. But we both love each other.
After ending it, and making that descison, I have massive regret, now wanting her back. I know I have to ignore these feelings, and move on.
I have done all this before with another, and now I'm worried, as it's a repeating cycle. Any thoughts?

[Clough]

You have just said a key word, and that would be "cycle." You recognize your problem. You are right that you have to ignore these feelings and move on. How not to enter a cycle depends on what you have learned how not to enter the cycle.

I would suggest thinking about what you have learned and the mistakes that you may have made that may have contributed to a relationship that went bad. I know that this is also a two-way street. Relationships involve the feelings and thoughts of at least two people. It depends on what they both think and feel.

You say that you have massive regret. Were there some things that you did that you might have approached in a different way? Then, learn how to do things better the next time.

I am not blaming you for the outcome of the relationship, but you obviously are a very thoughtful person who likes to figure things out. Keep up the good work!

There are many things in life where we think that we have done our best, and maybe haven't because of the outlook of another person with whom we have had a relationship.

You are growing in your experience. Please build on it by learning from the mistakes of the past.

I have regrets concerning relationships too. Just had to move on. It is a choice that I have made. Can't undo the past. Or, redo it for that matter.

There are relationships that I have had in the past that I still occasionally wish had continued. There is still love for the other person. And, I am sure that there is still love for me also from the other person. There are still the memories, both good and bad.

But, I have chosen to move on. It is a choice you have to make too. Life goes on.

I'm not a relationship expert. It is just my opinion as to how I have dealt with my failed relationships of the past.

I am sure that others will provide their opinions as well as their thoughts on this matter.

[augustknight]

Having been with this girl for 4 years and having one other incident hardy qualifies you as a cyclic Lotharto. When you make a decision you must also be aware that she may not want to restart the relationship. Unless the reason that you broke up in the first place is resolved or you are willing to resolve it, that problem will come back again. It is normal to have feeling for your ex. But is it regret as you say or is it longing for a time when things where better?

[talaniman]

If you know that a relationship is unhealthy what are the regrets you have? You are right in that you broke this up for a reason, so stick to Your decision and move on. I can't say if this is a cycle or not, but I do know that once you make a decision based on facts, you should stick to it. If mistakes were made, then recognise them and learn, or you will repeat that mistake and get negative results, again.

[Only1EmmaPeel]

if you regret your move away from the relationship and recognize that this is indeed a pattern, why not STOP the cycle here and now? contact the woman. that's the first step. seek her out and firstly, APOLOGIZE. tell her your fears. TALK to her. amazinglly, she may well still love you. any time we have loved it is well worth doing everything we can to save the relationship. just do it.