Hi, I'm a stepmother. My husbands 2 children have been homeschooled throughout their entire school career. My step daughter "graduated" from home school June 2008. My step son is 16yrs old and a junior in homeschool. My husbands exwife has full custody and he can only see his kids when she lets him. We all get along well. Except, if my husband asks his exwife how the kids are doing in homeschool, any kind of feedback, she would get angry and the kids would not come over. So he is conditioned to not say anything to her. His exwife never graduated from high school herself . He is only taught what he learns from his course material at home.
I've asked so many time about the education, what they're learning and the kids respond with general answers history, math, etc.
I beleive my husband and his exwife originally wanted to homeschool the kids because they had very bad high school experiences in poor schools. Now, I know she's homeschooling because of a control issue, overprotection. I can understand wanting the best education for your children, but I'm beginning to see what I don't want to see. My step daughter has no drive to continue any kind of schooling. Does not want to work (mom hasn't worked since the kids were born). She's just hanging out. She absolutely doesn't have any desire to really do anything. This may be a usual teenage thing, but I don't think so. We have offered to help her with anything she wants. She just shrugs her shoulders, and ambles off. I'm not sure if my stepson can read or write. He is smart, there is no drive to excel more than basic skills. My husband doensn't want to rock the boat, he wants to see the kids.
I know there isn't any real advice. I just had to get this off my chest. I'm so scared for them in the future. I think their mother doesn't want them to leave, she wants them to be homebodies, not have a future beyond the front yard Thanks for listening. I know homeschool is what you make of it, it can be an excellent learning experience, if your doing it for your child.

stepmom219

I've suggested it to my husband many times. We get into a huge arguements because of it. He gets so frustrated. So do I. I want so much for his kids. Even if they don't see us......I want them to do their best...I want them to have a good education, scholarship opportunities, college....
Court would be the normal recourse.
We had the last discussion about court 3 months ago. We would now lose our home if we had lawyers fees.The economy is worse now. Thats why I'm frustrated. His kids are great kids. Very polite, we don't have issues like alot of families. They just are shortchanged. I'm also worried about what his exwife will do when child support ends in a year. She hasn't worked in 18 years, no insurance. I don't want her to lose her house. (thats a side issue) She's a little kooky

DoulaLC

The kids are old enough to see him if they choose to. When he sees them, do they come to your home? Does he have phone contact, e-mail contact? If he is truly concerned about their education, and he is concerned about their mother prohibiting access, he simply has to either go to court....with his job, I would think he would be able to find out some info in regard to custody type issues and have some contacts he can ask about it, or ask the kids directly when he sees them. Find out what they have been learning about.

DoulaLC

I'll ignore this comment.....

Fr_Chuck

There are always ways, and so much depends on how hard and how willing he is to fight. for example in the US most places have legal aid socieities that will either represent you or at least fill out the paper work for you to file if you are low income.

I know when I had a issue when my childs mother would not let me see them, I went to thier house, Ok I got hauled off by the police twice, but was it worth it, of course my kids remember how hard I tried to see them, so when they got to be early teens, they even ran away from their mom to come to me, of course I had to go to court and get custody but it was easy with the kids asking to be with me. And guess what the police report of me being removed from her property was my evidence of how hard I tried to see them and she refusing. Not that it is always a good thing of course, always peaceful.

I am sorry but I am really really going to sound mean, it sounds like he is so used to letting the ex have her way, he has no backbone to fight. If he merely gives in and gives in he will never win. At some point one can make every excuse in the world but money ? a second job or free legal services, how about going down to the court and reviewing old cases and find simular cases and coping those papers. Have you contacted one of the several "fathers rights" groups and joined them for moral support.

At some point it is a choice you make as to what is more important.