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I am homeschooling my 15 yr ols son. I started towards the end of the year last year.
Now that school has started again { Break is over}
I am having a hard time getting him to work for more than an hour a day.
he is doing beter than he was in the public school and getting good grades.
I told him that in public school you sit for 7 hrs and work,
why cant you just keep working for at least another hour or so.
it is like pulling teeth to get him to sit for 1 hour!
Did I make the wrong choice to home school him?
Also I am worried about him socially I try to make subjestion as to making friends,
and joining the youth groups at a church and he said no thanks I have friends, he does have a few, but how is he going to meet new people?
I just cant seem to motivate him I ask him to go with me to work out for physical fitness and he dont even want to do that. I tell him that if he dont do all the work I have for him for the day that he is not going anywhere, and then I feel guilty because he dont go anywhere or do anything any way, and when a friend does call him to do something I am so happy for him that I end up letting him go. I say ok but tomorrow you are going to finish that work he says ok. Then the same thing happens the next day.
Its a constant fight and he says thats all I do is nag him and its true because he wont compromise. HELP!
It sounds to me like your son is in charge. If you say you're not going to let him go out, then don't. Since you've been doing it, he knows you don't really mean anything you threaten him with, and he's just going to do what he wants because he knows that he can get away with it. It you want him to listen, you have to follow through with what you say you are going to do.
My best friend growing up and his brothers and sisters were all home scholed. As a public school teacher I find home schooling a great alternative to the regular classroom setting.
It is important that you set up a schedule for the day. Post it, stick to it, and be sure that your son sticks to it too. Post the schedule where you both can see it and follow it each school day. If your son has difficulty sticking with it reward him for each milestone. For example 1 hour of work = 15 minutes of freetime or something similar. Give him choices as to what he wants to do as a reward and then give it to him.
Loving Educaiton At Home is a great organization that can give you more information.
Does either of you have teenagers?
Ret you said it sounds like he is incharge, Did you read the part about him not going anywhere or doing anything? The reason I let him go?
Any comment for that?
The advice from tuscany sounds like what you would do with a 5 yr old.
Oh well thanks for trying
Treeny, I don't know about Ret, but I do know that Tuscany is a teacher. So, listen to her.
Now I will quote you, and I have 3 teens and a 5 year old okay.....
Quote:
I tell him that if he dont do all the work I have for him for the day that he is not going anywhere, and then I feel guilty because he dont go anywhere or do anything any way, and when a friend does call him to do something I am so happy for him that I end up letting him go.
So, you give in. Instead of making him to his work, you let him go.
Quote:
I say ok but tomorrow you are going to finish that work he says ok. Then the same thing happens the next day
Of course it's going to happen the next day. You let him the day before because you "feel sorry" for him. He knows how to play you.
Quote:
Its a constant fight and he says thats all I do is nag him and its true because he wont compromise.
Of course he won't compromise, he doesn't have to. Why? Because you end up letting him go anyway. Why compromise? I know I wouldn't if I knew I could get away with it.
Look, you are the parent. You set the rules...he follows the rules. You need to set up a chart of rewards, as Tuscany, I believe it was, said.
He needs to know that until he accomplishes X, he can't have Y. You need a list of rules and boundaries that he must abide by to get what he wants. For instance....going to the gym and working out could be the homeschool version of physical education. He goes for 2 hours a week and when he does that, he gets to go to the movies on the weekend (just an example). Rewards and discipline. It is still school, no matter what building it is in.
FYI, my children are 20, 19, 13, and 5. So I have been there, albiet never homeschooled and never will. But I do know the boundaries of the parent-child relationship.
Does either of you have teenagers?
Ret you said it sounds like he is incharge, Did you read the part about him not going anywhere or doing anything? The reason I let him go?
Any comment for that?
The advice from tuscany sounds like what you would do with a 5 yr old.
Oh well thanks for trying
Yes, in fact, I did read that. If he doesn't want to go out, then he won't. If you're using not letting him go out as a punishment, and he doesn't want to go anyways, then in my opinion, that's not a very good punishment. If you're letting him go because you feel bad about it, then you're not following through. Maybe he's not motivated because he doesn't see that his parental figure follows through with what she's doing, so why should he?
So in summary, yes, I did read that part. Did you read what I said? The part about how he probably knows from experience that you wont follow through with his punishment for not doing his work, so he doesn't feel a need to do it? Because if you at least keep an open mind while reading my reply, you could respectfully disagree with me, rather than implying that I didn't read your question ebfore answering it.
J, I guess I was hoping for more understanding as it is hard whe nyou have a teenager that you worry about emotionally, socially exc. It sounded like it was more blaming then advice from rec and as far as tuscany she may be ateacher but we already have had our differences on onother subject.
Im in a bad mood any way so I gues that may of had something to do with my reaction.
I really am a nice person and dont want to come on here for negativity.
When you put someone on ignore list can they still rate your answers to other people?
Thanks for your advise I usually do fallow through with my punishments but he has been pulling at my heart strings.
I didn't mean to sound like a jerk or anything, I just know that it can be hard to look at your own family objectively. You always want to make them happy because they're your family. I may be wrong, and that's just my opinion, but I just wanted to make sure you at least considered it. After all, you know yourself and him a lot better than I do.
Treeny, I can understand not being in a good mood. But really it is no reason to take it out on the posts above. They were really good posts.
You really need to set some rules and boundaries with your son. He needs to obey them or pay the consequences. If he does not follow the rules of homeschool, it may be time to go back to a brick and mortar school where he will get the education he needs.
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