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I can think of many things but none of them postable!!!!
Personally i think its the long suffering wives that should be getting gifts after all we are the ones that except the fact that the internet is your life and we most definitely come second so yes i think maybe we need the gifts more than you :P
Loads of spam,virus variants,a router meltdown,wrong sort of cable connectors,broken monitors,network congestion,and how to reinstall Linux-XP safely,without deleating Mac OS10.
A never-been-opened vintage box of the game ......Mr. Potato Head?
This is so you'll have a sterling opportunity to practice those computer-generated, severly atrophied social skills on a practice target before inflicting yourself on live subjects aka family member units? (you're on your own for the potato though) LOL