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shygrneyzs · Mar 20, 2007, 01:25 PM

But according to the law in Washington, which is where you live, right? You cannot apply to be emancipated until the age of 16. That is the law. You also have to prove to the court that you can take care of yourself. That means not mooching off anyone else. If you are truly being abused, then you would have called 911 on your parents and gotten placed into foster care.

millec · Mar 20, 2007, 01:44 PM

I'm just curious as to what makes you think you friend's parents will be better for you? The reason I ask is because you stated that they agree with you in regards to you being abused but you have not mentioned what steps they have taken to try to get you out of that environment. Who have they called on your behalf? Have they made any phone calls to social services or the police? Are they just sitting back watching you get mistreated? If so, why would you want to leave your parents to go live with someone else's parents that don't care enough about you to try to have you removed from an abusive environment? What makes you think it will be better there? They have already shown you how much they care.

ScottGem · Mar 21, 2007, 10:49 AM

Originally Posted by Helpme123

Because I want a good answer and fast and if you put it out three times worded differently more people would respond and would give me different sugestions.

No that's not true. What you do is confuse the issue. You have gotten the same advice. There is a legal issue here. You are too young to apply for emancipation so forget that. If you are truly being abused (and I doubt that) then you contact Family Services and they investigate and place you in foster care if they find your complaints valid.

I'm going to ask that all your threads be combined into one.

Megg · Mar 21, 2007, 10:56 AM

Originally Posted by ScottGem

If you are truly being abused (and I doubt that) then you contact Family Services and they investigate and place you in foster care if they find your complaints valid. .

It's quite possible that this person IS being abused or mistreated. To assume otherwise is kind of rude, none of us know the situation. As an abused child I can feel for this person. I didn't know what to do. Just because most kid's hate their parent's or want to have freedom, doesn't mean that we can judge and say that this is that situation. There are many kid's out there being abused, and do most adult's listen? NO. They think the kid's lying. Well I'm listening and I say CALL 911!

ScottGem · Mar 21, 2007, 11:04 AM

Originally Posted by Raynefreak

It's quite possible that this person IS being abused or mistreated. To assume otherwise is kind of rude, none of us know the situation. As an abused child i can feel for this person. I didn't know what to do. Just b/c most kid's hate their parent's or want to have freedom, doesn't mean that we can judge and say that this is that situation. There are many kid's out there being abused, and do most adult's listen? NO. They think the kid's lying. Well im listening and i say CALL 911!

Ray,

First, because she has asked the same question in different threads you may not have seen all her posts. I have. The threads have now been merged into one so you might want to scan the whole thing. Her parents are being strict, undoubtedly overly so, but I don't believe there is actual abuse. That's probably why she is reluctant to go to Family Services.

This is a 14 year old girl who's parents keep her on a short leash. Of course she's not happy with that, but does that constitute abuse? She has been advised that she should contact Family Services. I'm not telling her not to. But I'm trying to give her some realistic expectations. I'm not discounting that she may be abused but the ONLY answer to that is go to the police or family services agency or school counselor and report it. Which is what she's been advised to do.

I disagree with you that reports of abuse are not taken seriously. If anything, the children's services agencies are erring on the side of caution and investigating any reports. My comments were based on the total of what she has told us and I stand by them.

xunsinkablex · Mar 21, 2007, 12:41 PM

I hope you know that if you are emancipated, you cannot move in with another family. Emancipation is paying for your own house/apartment/etc, and paying for your own needs. 14-year-olds cannot work full-time jobs, and if you're pulling in less than, say, $500 every week, there is no way for you to live on your own. You'd need to pay rent, pay bills, manage your bank account by yourself, get up and go to work every single day for 8(+) hours a day, do your school work, be able to get places (which you can't because you don't have a license and can't get one for awhile), pay for health insurance, a cell phone bill if you have one, so on and so forth. Emancipation means you're not a minor anymore. Trust me, I've done it. I'm 17 now, and I live with a friend. We split the rent and utilities, but I also make car payments, pay car insurance, do my schoolwork (homeschooled), and have a car to get me places. I work full-time, and pay for everything I need. Groceries, medicine, everything my parents previously paid for. It is NOT easy, and I'm telling you right now, you can't get emancipated until you've been living on your own and paying bills and all that for awhile. On your own does NOT mean with your friend's family. The court would require you to bring documents (copies of bills, rent agreements, pay stubs, statement of employment, etc etc) to prove that you are supporting yourself and not receiving money from anyone else and living on your OWN and paying your own bills and managing your bank accounts and everything else. If you're looking to live with your friend, emancipation isn't what you're going for. Emancipation basically means that you're not considered a minor anymore and you have to pay for everything yourself with no help from parents and live by yourself.
If you want to live with your friend, you'd have to prove abuse or another type of unsafe home life. You say your parents "won't let" you go to school; it's been proven that homeschooling is better for kids. They are trying to do what's best for you. Anyway, if you can't prove abuse or another unsafe environment, no judge will give custody of you to your friend's parents UNLESS your parents are willing to turn legal custody over to your friend's parents. If you can't prove abuse/unsafe environment/neglect, give up. You won't get anywhere, and no judge will give custody to your friend's parents just because "you don't like living there". Every kid has problems with their parents; you just need to deal with it until you're 18. Stop doing what makes them angry, and talk to them about how you're feeling and why you're feeling that way. Tell them that you want to go to school to interact with other kids, blahblahblah. If they don't let you, TOUGH. They're trying to get you the best education they can. Sorry to be harsh, but the reality is, all kids have problems with parents and you need to just suck it up and deal with it.

xunsinkablex · Mar 21, 2007, 12:43 PM

By the way, you can't work "as a nanny" if you want to get emancipated. You need to be getting LEGALLY paid, with taxes taken out, and filling out tax forms, so on and so forth. Not under-the-table, no taxes taken out, not an actual job kind of paid.

cutos · Mar 22, 2007, 06:18 PM

Lol did ja get all the papers in stuff just checking in on you:) howz it going up there?!

xunsinkablex · Mar 22, 2007, 09:44 PM

Originally Posted by cutos

lol did ja get all the papers in stuff just checkin in on you:) howz it goin up there?!?

She can't get emancipated anyway. There's no use in her getting papers. She's not going to get what she wants; she should just learn to deal with it (unless she actually is being abused, and people have told her what to do/who to call in that case) like EVERY OTHER KID has to.
Kids are so separated from reality nowadays that they don't know how to deal with things... jesus.

Megg · Mar 23, 2007, 07:52 AM

As an abused child, I know what it feels like, not ALL kids are confident enough to help themselves. Most are worried, scared and have low-self-esstem. You would be too if you were treated like some of kids are. Scar's for life I'll tell you! More kid's are being abused verbally then many know about. In some cases that's far worse then people want to think. I'll have problems for the rest of my life with trust and self-esstem because of it. Some kid's don't know their rights. You need to talk to someone, talking on here isn't going to solve your problem, we've given the advice, now you got to take it. Do it before it's too late. I was too afraid to tell people, I didn't even know if it was bad, I did nothing as I was verbally abused day after day. I did nothing expect cry when my dad through things at me. YOU can do something, so DO it.

xunsinkablex · Mar 23, 2007, 09:39 AM

Okay, then why didn't her friends parents do anything about it? They had to know, because she told them why she wanted to live there. If they don't care enough to tell anyone, WHY would she want to live with them? The OP's argument really doesn't make sense, and I doubt she's actually being abused. No, I do not know for sure, and I'm not saying there's no chance she is. I do doubt it, though. There's other people that would've said something, had they known (AKA: if she was really being abused). Her argument doesn't add up, lol... Read through it and her responses to each question that people have asked her. If you can't see that it does not add up and she's contradicting herself, well... I feel sorry for you.

Helpme123 · Mar 26, 2007, 05:17 PM

I am being abused and my parents have agreed to give custady to my friends parents so I have to go to court and stuff like that but hopeful I'll be living there for the beging of 9th grade. Since I did not tell social services on my parents they have agreed to do this and they promised they would get help

Thank every one!

ScottGem · Mar 26, 2007, 06:35 PM

That should tell you something about your parents. I hope you learn from it.

shygrneyzs · Mar 26, 2007, 07:21 PM

What a story! I can hardly believe it. In fact, I don't anymore.

xunsinkablex · Mar 26, 2007, 07:58 PM

Originally Posted by shygrneyzs

What a story! I can hardly believe it. In fact, I don't anymore.

Hahaha. That made my day :D

Helpme123 · Mar 26, 2007, 09:08 PM

Dude seriously shygrneyzs whts your problem. The only reason I came on here was to find an answer to my problem, and I did so I don’t need your coments anymore. I don’t know you and you don’t know me so stop making judgement about me and that I am a liar because I’m not. And I did learn a lot from this. That is that no family is perfect.

xunsinkablex · Mar 26, 2007, 09:12 PM

Originally Posted by Helpme123

Dude seriously shygrneyzs whts your problem. The only reason I came on here was to find an answer to my problem, and I did so I don’t need ur coments anymore. I don’t know u and u don’t know me so stop making judgement about me and that I am a liar because I’m not. And I did learn a lot from this. That is that no family is perfect.

You've contradicted yourself MANY times. If it is true and you got out of that house, good for you. Honestly. But people are allowed to think that you're a liar if they want to. It certainly doesn't seem believable to me, and apparently not to shygrneyzs, either. Don't make such a deal out of it, it's only a message board.

ScottGem · Mar 27, 2007, 05:16 AM

Originally Posted by Helpme123

And I did learn a lot from this. That is that no family is perfect.

Obviously, you didn't learn enough. If what you have told us is true that your parents have agreed to let you live with your friends family, then that show me that your parents care very deeply about you. So deeply that they are willing to give you up for a time in order to keep you. And if you can't see that or understand it, you are as self centered and selfish as you appear to be.