[ClusterBeam]

I met this girl at work about last October, and I thought she was pretty cool.

For a little while, it was just casual conversation. I was able to get her number and talk to her outside of work after some time.

Eventually, I asked her if she wanted to hang out and we did, and we hit it off AMAZINGLY.

Over time, she'd call me, and we'd talk. And we'd talk at work. And a lot of times, she'd call me when she was upset. She had been dealing with a bad break up, and a family member was on their death bed. So I was there to aid her when she needed it.

That said family member ended up passing away, and she told everyone she knew to not contact her for a while. Later on that evening, she calls me of all people to talk... so I help her out.

After a while, she recovers and starts to feel better. And starts telling me what's been going on again. At a point, I finally was able to tell her that I had feelings for her.

Now let's pause for a minute, I'm probably one of the few guys in the world who is FINE with the words "just friends". As long as I can get that off my chest, I can continue to live my life. So she said she felt like we didn't know each other well enough as friends yet.

Anyway, sometime after I told her I liked her, she seemed to take a more active interest in talking to me. She even set up an entire day for her and I to hang out, and we did. And we really got to know each other and we had a lot of fun. Well, as we parted ways, no more than 40 seconds, she calls me back and asks to hang out again later that week.

Come that day, she decides she can't make it, as she got caught shopping with her mother. Which is fine, something comes up. Whatever. Little did I know this trend would continue. There was another time where she said she'd hang out and that she had "forgot" as well. And a few other times where she blew me off as well.

Anyway, a big concert was coming up, and I had let her know about a month in advance that I had tickets, and asked if she wanted to go. She said yes, and she even got off the day at work to go.

Come the day of the concert, 2 hours before, she calls me to tell me her car won't start. I offered to go pick her up, and she's like "no...I need to fix my car...I have work tomorrow.." Now keep in mind it's like 4pm, and most car places close around 5 around here. So I asked her where she is taking her car at at that time in the evening to have it fixed before tomorrow. She paused "Uh....my mom's...boyfriend...knows people...." At that point I knew it was an excuse. Now I wish people would just tell me if they want to hang out or not, that's fine. But I was like "alright" and went to the concert alone.

So we continued to talk and get to know each other via texts and phone and whatnot. So one week, I was going to leave for vacation. And she likes to dye her hair a lot, and I do too. So I asked her if she could dye mine before I left, and she said yeah. So we set up a date and time. Well, come that day, she doesn't call. She doesn't pick up her phone. Nothing. I sent her a text saying "If you didn't want to do it, you could have just said no."

After that, she made no effort to contact me... and we went into silence for a month. With awkward passes at work. After a while, I decided to contact her on Myspace and find out why she's been avoiding me and flaking out. I couldn't get much out of her other than "I'm sorry, I do like hanging out wit you" and "I've been having issues." So I wanted to help out. I told her that it's no reason to block out your friends, as they care about you. And she should never have to deal with these things alone. And she could just tell me instead of not contacting me and not saying anything. That's fine.

So all was well... and we started talking again. She came to me with a problem with some guy who liked her, but she didn't like him. But he was an old friend from high school. And apparently he just decided to up and give up on her and find someone else. So she was upset for whatever reason. So I thought of something I could tell her to make her understand a few things about life I have learned. But I wanted to talk to her in person. So she said okay, and we made a time and date. And would you know it? She didn't show up, and she wasn't going to call either to tell me. She said her dad came into town, which is understandable family comes first. But then she told a different story of what she did that day, which was take her ferret to the vet... and she also fell asleep. All of it didn't add up to me.

So I sent her a text while she was at work saying "Do me a favor and call me when you get off of work, it's very important. Please make the effort to make some time for this." She said okay, that she would. And she never called.

So that's where I'm at now. I knew what I was getting into, so I'm not mad. I'm starting to see that this girl is a tease, a flake, and a liar. She comes to me for help, when I offer it, she backs out at the last minute.

What happened between us? We got so close and became really cool.

[HelpinHere]

I'm starting to see that this girl is a tease, a flake, and a liar. She comes to me for help, when I offer it, she backs out at the last minute.

What happened between us? We got so close and became really cool.

Sounds to me like one of four possibilities:
1: She isn't ready for a committed relationship. After you told her you liked her and she saw that you wanted it, she has been avoiding you.
2: She was using you to confide in. She does like you, but the person that she had you pegged to be she grew attached to. Some people can only truly talk to people they aren't close with, and that's okay. Now she can't talk to you though.
3: She doesn't like you, for whatever reason. She may be acting like "a tease, a flake, and a liar." She wants to use you, and is just saying "okay, later" or whatever so she can keep you around for when she needs you.
4: When she said "I've been having issues" she really meant it and it is something that drives her away from you. It could anything from she doesn't like your voice, to he family doesn't approve, to she discovered she's lesbian, or anything between.

I may be wrong, but this is the obvious options as to the cause I see.

I know you're having trouble contacting her, but you know where she lives? Works?
You need to find her, confront her, and figure out what's going on. If she is completely avoiding you, and you even meet up with you and she just walks past, then she doesn't care for you and you need to end whatever you have going on.

[ClusterBeam]

We work at the same place. And I tried to get her in person and she avoids me then.

I failed to mention a few things as my post was long enough as it is. She did say she had feelings at one point, but wasn't ready.

I didn't care about pursuing a relationship anymore, I just want us to not disappear from each others lives forever.

[HelpinHere]

Sorry, I thought by "I met her at work" you meant like she came in to buy something and you met her then, lol.

Well, then it should be even easier. Just stop her, say like "hey, what's up?"

Tell her that you don't want a relationship, just want to be friends. That may help turn things around a little.

Good Luck!